


All I Want For Christmas Is:

by Ben_Swolos_Right_Peck, Saklani



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Parenting, Chance Meetings, Child Abuse, Christmas, Extended Families, First Crush, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:08:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 45,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29915982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ben_Swolos_Right_Peck/pseuds/Ben_Swolos_Right_Peck, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saklani/pseuds/Saklani
Summary: Armitage Hux and Poe Dameron met as children in school in the 1980's. On Christmas, Poe sneaks into Hux's bedroom and they confess their crushes, only to get caught. Years later, they run into each other once again.Note: There is one scene of Poe (freshly turned 18) and Hux (turning 18 in a few months) making out and grinding on each other through their clothing. Afterwards they are adults the rest of the story.This was supposed to be posted for the holiday season but *finger guns* executive disfunction entered the chat.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux
Kudos: 6





	1. A Chance To Be Free

The sound of the bell ringing pulled Hux's mind from the day dream, his body jerking ever so slightly as he looked around at the students in the class packing up their books. Winter break was finally here, no one really having been paying attention to the teachers, their minds on snowball fights in the field, hot chocolate at the at the local diner, and the numerous amounts of presents they would be getting for the holidays. Well, that was _them_. Hux thought as he packed his bags, even the teacher having rolled out of the classroom already, her husband and 2.5 kids waiting for her and their trip to the cancoon's for the winter. Hux sighed heavily as he pushed his chair back and grabbed his back, making his way out of the classroom and down the hall towards where his locker was. Hux didn't have plans for the holidays, his father not believing in down time, nor the act of gift giving or family dinners. His step mother didn't cook, and his father didn't waist money on trivial things like toys or games, and if Hux needed new clothes, it came out of his allowance. He opened his locker and stuffed his books inside, grabbing his jacket off the hook and the keys to his house, his dad not going to be home till later in the evening and his step mother gone for the holidays to England with _her_ family. He shut the locker and made his way outside, shrugging the wool coat on over his button up as he walked down the steps into the snowy walkway as he started off in the direction of his house.

“Hey, wait up, Hugs!” a cheery voice called from behind the red-haired teenager. Poe Dameron came trotting along the sidewalk, nimbly moving over the cold ground and snow to his friend. “What’s the rush? I know your dad’s not home right now. Come have some hot chocolate with me at Spooners! It’s a perfect day for it…freezing cold.” He rubbed his gloved hands together and let out a breath that trailed vapor into the air. Unlike Hux, he looked forward to the holidays. He and his dad couldn’t afford to go anywhere, nor did they have any other family, but they always spent the season decorating their small house, filling it with friends, and spending a quiet Christmas together. New Years he usually spent with his high school friends, though he seldom managed to persuade Hux. “I’ll pay,” he added. “I made some extra money at the Christmas tree lot this week. A lot of women sure like to have me help them with the trees.” He grinned, bright and cheerful at his friend, a total contrast to Hux’s serious appearance.

Hux heard the voice, his lips pulling into a small smile before he let it drop, feigning a cool exterior. He turned and cocked a half smile, stopping where he was on the sidewalk. "Hey Dameron." Hux stuffed his hands into his pockets, his pale nose already pink from the cold air and his ears just as red. The thought of hot chocolate sounded wonderful but...Brendol expected him to be home after school, even if he himself wasn't, though, maybe he could just this once. He rolled his eyes, his smirk not fading however. "You know those married woman just want to see you lift their trees for them." He chuckled, watching the shorter teen walk up to him. Hux was glad his cheeks were already pink from cold, his heart clenching every time he saw Poe each day as his eyes wondered the beautiful face of the other boy. "You know if Brendol finds out I didn't head straight home I'm going to be grounded right?" He fell in step with Poe. "You will be paying for hot chocolate _and_ owe me for getting me grounded." He chuckled and knocked his shoulder into the other boys, biting at his lip as his teeth clacked lightly at the chill in the air.

“Hugs, when are you going to wear the damn muffler I know Rey gave you last year for Christmas?” Poe asked and unwrapped the scarf from around his around neck and chin to wrap around Hux’s head, making sure to cover his ears. “Your ears aren’t supposed to be the same color as you hair…moron.” He chided lightly, affectionately, knowing how sensitive his friend was about these things. “Anyway, I don’t know how you tell the difference between being grounded or not. You’re not allowed to do anything fun anyway by that asshole,” he said, referring to Hux’s father with a dislike shared not only by them, but by his father, as well. Poe had met Hux through his dad’s, Kes, gardening business.

Kes had long taken care of the grounds for the Huxes, even when they lived elsewhere. Brendol had come back to the town, bringing his wife and son, when Poe was in the 8th grade. He had seen the quiet red-head in the halls at school, bit not really gotten to know him until he’d spent several days helping Kes out pruning trees at the Hux mansion. The fierce intelligence and quick wit of the younger Hux drew Poe in, despite the other teens rather withdrawn nature. Poe made up for that with his own outgoing and friendly disposition. Over the last few years, despite Poe being one of the more popular kids at school, he considered Hux his best friend, along with Rey and Finn, whom he’d grown up with. “Guess I’m going to have to keep resorting to sneaking out in the middle of the night to see you so you’re not completely bored this vacation. Though, your dad can’t keep you locked up the entire time.”

Hux's cheeks _did_ go more red at Poe's accusation, pinpointed observation and selfless abandon of his own warm clothes. "I _told_ you i already outgrew it." He huffed heavily, pulling his hands out of his pockets to readjust the scarf so it was more around his neck, though he did stop to let it pass by his nose for a second too long, taking in the smell. "I know the difference between being grounded and not." He pouted, though he didn't know he pouted, his eyebrows furrowing and his lip quirking a tad. "Besides, your dad lets you do _everything_ you want. Sure it's not like you, Rey and Finn are going out and breaking into peoples houses for fun, but you get away with allot." To Hux, _allot_ was staying out passed 8PM, stealing beers from Rey's uncle's fridge, and going out in the woods to watch Rey's creepy cousin play with swords. Hux huffed again, turning his face back in the direction towards Spooners, where they were going. "I'm not eighteen yet...Brendol can do as he likes..." He sighed, his stride shorter to not outpace his friend and his hands bundled in his pockets. Maine was cold, and the winters were even colder. He never knew why his dad picked a place like this, but he said it was due to the quietness of the town, and the location of the train for a better commute to work. "You know my windows always unlocked." Hux mumbled, pushing his face down into the scarf to warm his nose.

“Then I’ll trade you muffler for scarf,” Poe said with a roll of his eyes at Hux’s melodramatic nature. “I’m still short, it’ll fit me just fine.” (He was a little miffed at that, honestly. Finn, Hux and Kylo, not to mention Phasma, were all taller than him now.) “Rey will be amused.” He patted Hux on the right arm and continued down the street. “Really, what is the difference for you?” Poe asked, truly curious. He’d never seen Hux make a move out of place, not really. His ‘offenses’ were all stupid things like making friends or wanting to wear warm clothing in winter. “And my dad doesn’t let me do anything I want or even get away with a lot, Hugs. Your father is just an unreasonable asshole. But I’ll happily sneak in your window to see you and have both of us break the rules. Besides, your step-mom snores like a grizzly bear. We could play death metal on high and not have anyone notice.”

  
He nudged Hux into a small cafe that was filled near to the rafters with happy teenagers and a few other locals. He waved off a bunch of calls of his name and hustled Hux into a pair of stools at the counter, away from the other kids and next to a couple of middle-aged men who spent half their lives drinking coffee and flirting with the older waitress, Emma. “Two hot chocolates and a piece of your pecan pie to share, please. With ice cream. Shut up, Hux, you’re sharing it with me.”

Hux rolled his eyes but continued walking, his lips curling slightly from behind the scarf. "You can have the muffler, ill keep the scarf." He said in a "its final" sort of tone, even nodding slightly. "Rey is amused by everything. And if you would like to know the difference for me getting grounded is being able to walk _outside_...." His cheeks flushed at Poe's touch, the simple act of patting his arm or shoulder never failed to make him flutter at the stomach. "Maratelle might snore but Brendol's ears are still keen. You know we have to be quiet." Hux turned into the cafe with Poe, his eyes glancing over to the other kids who sat at the various tables, the ones calling out for Poe catching his eyes before he looked away quickly. He wasn't a fool to know that Poe was more popular among the other students, his good looks, charming personality and ability to out pace everyone (even Rey's creepy cousin) in most physical fitness categories, put him in a somewhat prime spot to be desired (which Hux was no stranger to feeling.)

He went to object to the pie but shut his mouth at Poe's final retort, sighing as he let his hands fall to his lap, fingers playing with the scarfs end. Hux had a handful of "friends", or close acquaintances, and then he had Poe, his best friend (and secret crush). Phasma was his second closest friend, while rey, finn and a few others were more outlier people he spoke to mostly at school, never having time to hang out with anyone else.

Poe just grinned at his friend, finding his company easy in a way so few people seemed to. “Well, whatever that asshole is or isn’t capable of, he’s not getting to ruin your Christmas this year, Hugs. We’ll make sure of that.” He thanked the waitress as their hot chocolates were put in front of them. “Dad’s got some winter trimming to do in a few days at your dad’s house, so I’ll definitely be over then. You can pretend to boss around the help.” He sipped his chocolate and made a low, satisfied noise. “And I’ll give you another pair of gloves, too. Your fingers may be long, Hugs, but if you keep on losing your gloves, you’re liable to get frostbite and lost piece of them. How anyone as smart as you is as forgetful in so many ways is beyond me.” “Which reminds me…do you know what you’re going to read for your winter assignment? I don’t know why teachers always want to ruin holidays with work…”

Hux took the mug of hot chocolate gratefully from the waitress and pulled it close, his lips around the straw quickly to warm his body with the hot liquid. He watched Poe talk, his green eyes latched onto the other boy, nodding on the occasion. His cheeks went red however, swallowing his drink. "Look. If you grew as fast as I have been recently you would "loose" things too. Those gloves were from last year and I already had to donate them because they didn't fit anymore." He huffed and took another sip. "And I picked The Lord of The Flies." He said quickly before he took another sip. "Personally I like holiday work. Gives me something to let Brendol think I'm working on." He chuckled and sipped down the rest of the hot chocolate quickly, already feeling the warmth in his belly. "And you _know_ he never lets us do anything on holidays." He sat up straight, putting his hands in his lap as he cleared his throat. "Holidays are for children, poor people and schmucks." He said in a mock deep voice, his voice cracking a bit as he did so.

“Asshole,” Poe repeated with a low growl at Hux’s dad. “But that’s why we’ll find ways around his assholishness. After all, it’s not like your stepmom notices anything you do. And your dad spends most of his life at work. We have to be able to sneak in some time for you to get away from Lord of the Flies and skulking about in your mansion. Or I’ll just sneak in period.” He sipped more of his chocolate, mouth pulled down in a scowl at the way Hux’s dad made his life miserable. He’d never understood the way Hux senior treated his son (or most of the rest of the world). From what he’d cobbled together from things Hux said, things Hux senior said and some of the grapevine rumors, he figured Hux senior had never been married to Hux’s mom and she’d been part of the ‘help.’ That almost definitely played into their twisted relationship. As did Hux’s sensitive nature, which he hid behind a wall of stoicism and snark, not to mention brilliance. “You could pretend to tutor me some more. We can hang out at the library a few days. They’ll be decorated for Christmas, at least. And dad will be furious if I can’t find a way to get you over to our place at least once for some of his pepian and rellonos.”

Hux chuckled as he let his body relax, no longer pretending to be his father. "Yea well, my father has ways of figuring things out....I don't know how he does it." He sighed and picked up his fork, taking a small piece and popping it in his mouth before setting the fork down. He grimaced lightly, sticking his tongue out at Poe. "I don't skulk." A smirk spread over his lips, but he tamped it down. Hux had once upon a time had family holidays, his life back in England was more eventful than over here with just his father and step mother, but even then they weren't like everyone else's. He could remember his mother too, running around the large Hux mansion, cooking in the kitchens and letting him steal pastries from the trays when she wasn't "looking". His father had never been different, but the extended family desired get togethers and thus Brendol obliged. His father had jumped on the opportunity to move to America, away from his "irritating and traditional nipple sucker" family that didn't care for business or strict ridged lifestyle.

"I mean...maybe but you know he checks in on me...Remember last year when he checked the sign-in log at the front desk and found out we weren't there?" He slumped a bit, that moment having made him even more skittish of skipping out on both the library, school or really anywhere else. "I didn't have a bedroom door for 5 weeks let alone more than thirty minutes to get home...I _ran_ for most the way in order to get home to call him at work in time...." He sighed heavily and leaned forward, placing his forehead on the counter. "...I can't wait to graduate...." He mumbled.

“Not much more time now,” Poe said with an eager grin. “We’re both going to Berkeley, Hux. Even your dad doesn’t object to Berkeley, though he might if he knew I got in.” His smile widened a little. “Thanks to scholarships for me. Helps that your dad thinks I’m a dumb spic who doesn’t know how to scratch my own ass. No way he’ll think I could get into Berkeley. By the time he knows, you’ll be an adult and can kiss him goodbye.” He cut a piece out of the pie the waitress had delivered a moment ago, hot and covered in melting ice cream, smug happiness radiating off of him.

“So, just six months until you’re free, Hugs,” he said. “We can make it…together.” He lightly kicked Hux, but the touch as affectionate. “And eat more pie. You’re thin as a stick, buddy.”

Hux sighed heavily once again, nodding against the counter before sitting back up. "yea..." He smiled, shooting Poe a warm look, his cheeks pinkened. Hux truly looked forward to his days in California with Poe attending Berkeley, the thought of going to college with the other boy for four years straight sounded like a dream. They would file for co-living if they could, and if not they would try to get a shitty apartment together, surviving on their own. "I'm sure this wont last if I start living with you at Berkeley...With the way your father cooks I can only imagine what you will make me eat." He chuckled and kicked lightly back at Poe's leg, scooting forward so his elbows were on the table, their elbows bumping. He looked down at his wrist, his eyes widening slightly. "shit...I gotta get home." He pushed the chair back, hopping down. "I'll see you later right?" Hux grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair, slinging it over his shoulders and grabbing the scarf to wrap around his neck, knowing Poe wouldn't be taking it back from him.

“Dude, get a cup and take the chocolate with you to finish,” Poe called and waved to the waitress to get one. “You can dump the evidence before you get there. And calm the fuck down. You don’t have far to go.” He rolled his eyes at the other boy, adding the remains of his own hot chocolate to the to go cup and carrying it over to Hux.

“I’ll see you in a couple of days, when my dad and I are there. Your dad’ll be out and your stepmom will be watching her soaps. ‘K?” He handed the cup to Hux. “Dad’ll bring lunch.”

Hux stopped at the door, hearing Poe call for him and making a point to ignore the many eyes he could feel on him from the other side of the cafe where the other teens sat. They watched his and Poe's interactions constantly, knowing they couldn't figure out why the two of them were friends. He smiled slightly as Poe walked forward, but straightened himself out as he heard some voices to the side. "Your a sap." His face was neutral, but his voice held warmth, green eyes catching brown. "And yea...I'll see you soon. Don't forget to bring your winter break homework, we can at least work together on that and get it out of the way to make both our fathers think we are getting something done." He took the cup from Poe's hand, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips before he could stop it. "And I look forward to your dads cooking, it's a million times better than the crap Maratelle cooks." He chuckled, wrapping his fingers around the warm cup. "See ya.." His eyes lingered slightly before he turned, pushing the door open into the cold air. He gave one last wave before he walked off, burring his face into the scarf to both keep warm and to take a deep breath.

Poe enjoyed working with his dad, another fact a lot of the other kids never could understand about him. He often spent a weekday afternoon after school or weekend day with his dad in somebody else’s garden, working on plants and soil and watering and landscaping. It was one of the reasons he wasn’t on even more sports teams (soccer and baseball being his favorites) and why he didn’t date more. After his mother died when he was a kid, he and his father had grown closer, despite some difficult years for them both. Part of that had been through Poe helping his father in his gardening business. And though it wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life, he deeply admired his father for running his own business doing something he loved. Today, they were in the Hux’s huge yard, doing some careful work on the conifers and moving snow. As with all places in Maine, most of the garden was dormant, so Ken worked to bring some cheer to the remaining plants. The Hux’s yard needed all the cheer it could get. Poe waved to Hux in his window when they arrived and then got straight to work. Neither Brendol or Maratelle would stand for any ‘lolly-gagging’ by the help. But Kes held firm on his lunchtime and that Poe only worked when he wanted, since he was not part of the official deal. This left him time to be with Hux the junior.

Hux could remember the first time he met Poe, well...the first time he _saw_ Poe at least. He had been up in his room studying, _like usual_ and he heard Maratelle say something to someone outside. They had recently moved into the area and his step mother had complained about having a "boring yard with no character" which then started an argument between her and brendol about spending needless money on yard upkeep. But, as usual, Maratelle complained enough that a few days later Brendol had called a local landscaper to do the work. He had heard the sound of people talking and made his way to the window, peeking outside to see a man and a boy, the man placing trees in preplaced holes and the boy following his dad around helping when needed. He knew immediately that he had a crush on the boy, his curly brown hair, big brown eyes and wide toothy smile caught his eyes and made him blush. He had ran to his bed and curled up for almost ten minutes having to think about why he was feeling this way before he could even get back to studying.

The next thing he knew he was sitting next to said boy in math class a few weeks later once school started and he could barely contain the blush that crossed his cheeks. They finally spoke one day when Hux made a point of bringing out some water to the two of them, having just finished his studies and was making himself some lunch. It had been hot out and he walked across the yard, fully clothed in his usual and held out the two bottles of water sheepishly. He had barely spoken a work except "here sir." and "bye" before he ran into the house. Now he couldn't keep his eyes off Poe, the teens charisma and genuine personality never seemed to stop giving. Hux waved when he saw Poe, giving him a smile before dropping back down to his desk chair to finish his work, knowing he would be greeted soon by his friend.

“Be right back, Pop,” Poe said, even as Kes was already waving him off to go say hi to Hux. He jogged in the side door (for the servants) and trotted up the stairs to Hux’s room. He unceremoniously threw open the door and only knowing Hux would be upset if he jumped on his bed in his dirty clothes kept him from it. “Come, on, lazy ass! Time to get away from your desk and come outside for a few hours. You gotta earn lunch today.”

He leaned against the old desk and grinned at his friend. “How you been anyway? Locked in here since you left me by myself at the diner, I bet. Reading your library for the second…or is it third?…time. Reminds me, library tomorrow at one. Don’t be late. Finn and Rey want to stop by and say hi, too. Who knows about Phasma? She may show. To see you.” He reached out to fluff Hux’s hair playfully. “You’re the only person she seems to like.” He looked around the tastefully decorated, but rather cold, room, with a little frown. “Let’s go outside. You need some color in your cheeks.”

Hux heard the door open, a smile pulling at his lips when he glanced over before looking back down to his work. "Would you believe that this is my first time reading through this for the winter break?" He chuckled and shut the book, pushing it forward on his desk before looking up at Poe. "Lazy??" His eyes widened, but then he rolled them, his smile growing wider. He stretched in his chair, back and shoulders popping before he pushed up and poked Poe in the side, side stepping him. "I have been _fine_ Poe. It's been three days not three years." Hux made his way over to his closet and opened it up, the color inside not ranging passed muted blues and greens, blacks and greys and the occasional white button up. He grabbed a heavier sweater and pulled it on, not wanting to freeze.

"Besides. Distance makes the heart grow fonder or something. I think that's how the saying goes." He shot Poe a smirk and grabbed his shoes, slipping them on and sitting on his bed as he tied them. "I should be able to make it." He spoke as he tied his shoes, his cheeks getting flushed from leaning over. "Brendol has some office meeting with his whole staff and Maratelle is going to be getting ready to go back to England to visit with her _family_. So I wont have to worry about her." He spoke the word family as if it was some foreign disease, huffing slightly as he sat up and headed out the bedroom door. He led the two of them down to the kitchen, grabbing some milk from the fridge before a grabbing the can of Nesquik out of the cabinet. "Would Mr. Dameron want a hot chocolate?" He looked over to Poe, grabbing a few mugs from the cabinet before setting to nuking the milk.

“Don’t call Pop Mr. Dameron, Hugs,” Poe said, stealing an apple nimbly. “He hates it when you call him Mr. Dameron. He gets this face like he just sucked on the world’s sourest lemon. He’s Kes. But no, he doesn’t need the hot chocolate, though make me extra, please. Pop brought the biggest thermos of coffee available on the market. He’s so hopped up on caffeine it’s a wonder he’s not buzzing like a bee. So you and I get all the gourmet chocolate.” He looked at the Nesquik with amusement. “I love how a guy who’s such a snob about almost everything drinks hot chocolate made for kindergartners.”

He watched Hux bustle around the kitchen with a fond grin. “Do you still miss England, Hux? I remember how much you did when you first came to the US. Do you want to go back someday? You’ll be missing some of that fancy accent you came to the US with.” Secretly, he hoped Hux was content where he was, but the reminder that his step-mom was going back to the UK for the holidays made Poe wonder. He crunched into the apple as he waited for his friend to answer, acting casual, but feeling a bit of a twist in his stomach.

Hux rolled his eyes as he pulled the mugs from the nuker, setting them gingerly down on the counter as the hot ceramic burnt his fingers. "Fine fine, you know how hard it is for me to call an adult anything other than their last name right? If Brendol heard me..." He grabbed the other mug and set it down besides the other, scooping out spoonful's of chocolate powder. "It's not for kindergartners.." He looked up, a pout visible on his lips. "It's the stuff that tastes the best..." He mixed the two cups and slid one towards Poe, rinsing his spoon and grabbing his mug before walking towards the back door. Hux grabbed the scarf that Poe had lent him, wrapping it around his neck before looking back at the other boy. "I don't miss England at all...what's there to miss?" He chuckled, taking a sip before opening the back door. "Old people, snotty neighbors and tea time?" With that he walked out and stepped onto the back patio, waiting for Poe to come with him. He could see Mr. Dam-...no _Kes_ in the back yard bustling around, the caffeine obviously running through him.

"And if I loose this accent then that's better....less people will look at me like I'm some James Bond villain.." His cheeks flushed with the cool air quickly, his red hair sticking out among the white backdrop off snow and brown, leafless trees and green conifers. "Besides...I don't have any friends in England...why would I ever leave?" He shot a smile at Poe, his cheeks darkening a bit further. Hux's crush on the other teen had only grown through the years they had known each other, their friendship getting closer and closer. He would never ruin this however, not wanting to push Poe away if he didn't feel the same way. Besides, until they left their small town of Maine, he wouldn't say anything anyway, his father not approving nor the rest of the small minded town.

“Wait a second,” Poe said, even as he trotted after Hux. He reached into the right pocket of his warm coat and pulled out a pair of gloves, green and warm-looking. “Here-“ he thrust them out at the other boy “-these out to fit those long fingers of yours. Keep them from freezing and shattering like icicles.” He took Hux’s mug from him and said, “Put them on now, and I’ll give you back your delicious favorite beverage, fit for kins, Bond villains and toddlers.” He grinned and took a big sip of his own mug. It warmed him through to know Hux wasn’t interested in going back to his home country. Or maybe just his country of origin now. And it didn’t escape him, the reference to friends. Hux really didn’t have a lot of them here, either, but he had Poe, for good and all. He knew Hux behind his cool exterior, the guy who blushed when they talked about being friends. “Tea time doesn’t sound bad,” he mused. “Any excuse to eat.”

“Hey Pop, need any help now?” he called to his father. “Whenever you’re ready, son!” Kes called back. “Hey, Hux. How are you?”

Hux made a flustered noise and his face contorted slightly as his warm mug was taken from him, but he didn't protest further, huffing as he took the gloves. His pout had a small smile on it, no actual anger as he pulled the warm gloves over his hands and bit his lip as they were indeed warm. "Maybe I'll be the warmest Bond villain out there then.." He chuckled and took the mug back, warming his hands on the warm drink as he sipped it. "When we move to California, your father might have a better time both temperature wise planting palm trees in the yards of millionaire actors than the suburbs of Maine." he chuckled, knowing how much business was moving out west, the movie industry having boomed in recent years with the age of computers.

Hux himself was interested in studying technology, computers and robotics alike. His father had him studying for a life of business, but he had been doing his own tinkering and studying on the side for code and binary, though he didn't have a computer of his own to practice with he did have the libraries one computer. The librarian often let him play around on it with the sole rule that if he broke it, he had to fix it. "Hi Mr. Dam-...Hi Kes!" He smiled awkwardly, shivering where they stood and waved lightly. "There is leftover lasagna i can heat up if you get cold! Just let me know!" He smiled more, always liking the other man. He rarely ever got to _go_ to Poe's house, but the few times in his life he had, the man had been so giving and kind. Hux had a few moments when he first met Poe of jealousy, wanting what Poe and Kes had, but he quickly stamped that out, realizing he would _never_ get that, and just be happy that Poe's father was caring enough to extend the kindness he did.

Kes called back, “That’s kind of you, Hux, but I brought my famous pepian and rellenos to share with you! They’ll stay nice and warm for us! I made plenty.” Poe rolled his eyes toward Hux and said, “He made enough for ten of us, and you know how I eat. We’ll be having leftovers for days. Save me. Oh, and Mrs. Ramirez brought over a hamper full of her homemade tortillas. So, you’re taking some of them, too.” He made a face that was a combination of amused and horrified. “I think she’s flirting with him. Trying to romance him.” He ducked his head and managed a weak grin. “The thought of Pop dating is kind of weird.” He was a bit surprised Hux thought his dad might go with them, but also found it telling. Hux was completely unfamiliar with parents and children having such a good relationship. Both Rey and Finn were adopted. Ren fought all the time with his parents. And Phasma was emancipated. Of them all, only Poe had a close bond with his actual father. It was something he treasured. “I’ll take some of the lasagna later, though.”

Hux smiled and drank another sip of his hot chocolate, smiling wide. "I'll gladly have some then!" His smiled widened before he looked back at Poe, chuckling as his face was a bit horrified as he talked about Mrs. Ramirez. "I mean...unless your gonna spend your whole life at home you wouldn't want your father living alone now would you?" He chuckled lightly, knocking Poe lightly on the shoulder. "I think some people are better off alone though." He shivered a bit, glancing back into his house that he knew was empty, but his mind flittered to his own father. "I dono...sometimes it's just easier not to have to deal with other peoples issues...I mean look at Brendol...he barely stands Maratelle....he just stays with her for her money..." He rolled his eyes and leaned back against the side of his house, sipping down the last bits of his hot chocolate before they got cold. He mumbled something against his mug.

“That’s right, make me feel like a shit son who wants his dad to wallow away alone for the rest of his life,” Poe complained good-naturedly. “It’s just weird, you know? All these years, it’s just been us. I guess I should be glad…” He looked at his father with a fond smile, even as he sipped his Nesquik.

“Neither Brendol or Maratelle need anybody,” Poe agreed. “I know you think he married her for her money, but why did she marry him? I’ve never understood that. The two of them have the chemistry of a pair of icebergs.” He wouldn’t say that about many people, but knew Hux wouldn’t care in this case. Besides, it was the hard truth. They were unkind people who treated his best friend like crap, and Poe disliked both of them for it. He pressed his shoulder against Hux’s a moment in silent support. “By the way, what was that last? You mumbling sweet nothings to your drink? I know you love your Nesquik, Hugs, but that’s maybe takin’ it a bit too far.”

Hux blushed and chuckled lightly at Poe's good natured jest, always admiring how Poe's eyes crinkled when he smiled. He looked between the two and polished off his hot chocolate, glad that he could experience some form of positive father figure regardless of whether it was his or not. Hux huffed at the observation of Brendol and Maratelle, not needing to add any further commentary as Poe hit the nose with those points. He nudged slightly with Poe's shoulder, a deeper blush crossing his cheeks as he pulled his face further into the scarf and leaned into Poe, his mind going wild with thoughts every time Poe got close enough to touch him. "I uh...uhm.." He stuttered, his brain halting a few times as he wrestled his brain to think of a good thing to say besides the fact that he had mumbled to himself _"I wouldn't want to live without you."_. He coughed slightly to hide his pause and shot Poe an awkward, blushed glance. "I was uh just saying I could use more hot chocolate but uh...I think maybe we should get to helping your dad." He said quickly, setting his empty mug on the patio ground before walking away quickly towards Kes to help out, wanting to earn those famous pepian and rellenos.

“Hey, Hugs!” Poe called and darted after him, carefully carrying his own mug. “Where are you going, dude?” He shoved his still half-full mug into Hux’s hands. “You can have the rest of mine. I’m not as besotted with it as you are. And Pops will be fine for another few minutes.” He shook his head at the other teenager. “Where were you going anyway? It’s like you developed the yips.” He chuckled softly. Turning away, he looked over all of the Hux’s snowed in garden. “You know, this would be the perfect place to build a snowman. It’s too bad your dad would probably have a coronary if we did.” He chuckled a little. “Don’t suppose there’s anywhere he’d never see that we could do it? Pop and I put up one in our yard, but it’s pretty tame because of how small the yard is. Here, we could erect snowman armies.” He snuck a glance back at the house. “Think we could at least get away with a few snow angels?”

Hux stuffed his hands into his pockets as he stopped walking, now standing in the middle of the yard in the snow feeling awkward. "uh..no no...that's yours. You finish it." He smiled lightly. "I uh...I'm fine. Just cold I guess, it's making me uhm..." He pulled his face further into his scar. "Making it hard to think I guess." He looked around the snowy yard with Poe, seeing all the opportune spots to make snow men and snow angels, the idea of erecting one sounded wonderful but even Poe knew what Brendol was like. Snow angels sounded fun, but then again he would have to get into the snow, but at the same time he didn't want to sadden Poe either. "Behind the trees." he smiled, glancing at Poe. "we can make them behind the big trees over there." He pointed towards the edge of the property, a good portion of land was hidden behind the large pine trees. "drink your drink and come on!" He tapped Poe on the arm and started walking towards the trees.

Poe stared at the mug back in his hands and then at his friend marching away from him again in yet another direction before letting out a laugh. “Hugs! Your brain is cold!” He followed after him again. “Hold on, buddy.” When he caught up, he handed him back the mug more firmly. “Drink this,” he ordered, “and see if it helps clear the fog in your brain. First you declare you wanted more hot chocolate, but then run off cause Pops needs help. Then you refuse the chocolate I offer you, forget about Pops needing help and go marching off in another direction. You are all over the place. Maybe vacation is not good for you, huh? You need to be stimulated intellectually or your brain literally turns to mush.”

“Now, drink you chocolate, then we’ll help Pop, have an amazing lunch and go make snow angels. In that order. Understood?” He wagged a playful finger at Hux.

Hux stopped and turned, a pout evident on his lips as he held his arms close to his body. "I am not-.." He huffed and looked down at the mug being held out to him, his cheeks getting warm as he looks from the offered drink to Poe's smiling face. He could never say no to Poe. "Fine." He grumbled and pulled his hands from his pockets, taking the still warm-ish drink and bringing it to his lips. His cheeks flushed more as he drank, knowing that Poe's lips touched the rim where he was drinking from, unable to keep the stupid mushy thoughts from his head. "I know how order of operation works Poe." He mumbled and continued to sip before the liquid was all gone, letting the cup hang by his side. "let me just put the mugs in the sink and i'll be back okay."

“Well, I won’t run away, but I will go over and start talking to Pop about what he needs help with…if that’s alright with you,” Poe teased. He lightly wrapped Hux’s arm once. “Don’t get caught by the evil ones lurking inside.” He winked playfully and trotted off to go talk to his father. “Hey, Pop! Hux’ll be back out in a minute and we can help you out,” Poe said. “How is he?” Kes asked, always interested in Poe’s best friend. He’d been surprised by how well they took to each other, though his son’s bighearted acceptance of the lonely English boy was part of his nature. Still, the normally shy and standoffish Hux warmed to Poe easily, nd Kes wondered how he might have been different with better parenting.

“He’s Hux,” Poe said with a little shrug. “Not at his happiest during the holidays, like we are, but he’s doing alright. Especially with the end of being stuck with Brendol and Maratelle moving forward.” Kes snorted and said, “I’d be excited about that, too.” He waved as Hux re-emerged from his house. “You two mind doing some heavy lifting? I have a bunch of blocks to set out.” Poe rubbed his hands together and said, “All the better to work up an appetite. Hurry up, Hux!” He called to his friend.

Hux waved to Poe as he headed towards the house, leaning down to grab his own discarded mug while he was on his way in and shut the door behind him. He wiped his feet off on the mat, as Brendol would get pissed about water on the floor, and he set his mugs in the sink rinsing them out. Their household did have a maid that came around three times a week to clean up, but Brendol still made Hux do most of the chores on the day to day basis, so he would just clean the mugs later. He looked out the window at Poe and his father, smiling a bit as he let himself have this moment of calm before he made his way back outside, waving to Kes as he saw the greeting and picked up his pace, Poe's call to him making him smile a bit. He came to a quick stop in front of the two others, his smile soft, always a bit awkward but the desire to help always there. "I'm here, geeze..." he quickly tapped Poe on the arm with the back of his hand in a friendly hit.

Poe laughed at his friend and said, “Good. Let’s go haul some blocks. Work on your muscles a bit. You’re all skinny.” But he gently bumped their sides into each other. They hauled blocks from the truck to the beds where Kes wanted them. Kes showed them how to arrange them to his satisfaction, and they spent a few hours getting them into a set pattern, which was quite artistic and would allow for some plantings in the spring, once the ground thawed. By the time they were done, Poe was well ready for lunch. “Come on, let’s go get some lunch,” Poe said to Hux, leaning into him with relief. “Pop worked us hard today. We’ve earned the calories.” He took him by the forearm and led him along to the truck. “Have a seat in the back. I’ll grab the lunch. How many rellenos do you want? No limit. Like I said, Pop could feed an army.”

Hux stuck out his tongue at Poe at the skinny comment, but moved forward to begin helping regardless. He did struggle some through the work, but he enjoyed it regardless since he got to be along side Poe doing it. Hux helped out every now and then, knowing it irked Brendol to no end but the man didn't really complain to much about it after the first few times, but he did hear the occasion comment. When they set the last stone down he huffed and stayed bent over, resting his hands on the cold stone to give himself a moment before standing up straight. He had already tossed his jacket, having worked up a sweat to move the stones and he was just in his gloves and scarf now, his nose and ears pink but his cheeks red from heat. "yes please." He sighed out, a smile crossing his lips as he leaned back into Poe, he let Poe pull him, not really caring as he stumbled along side, hopping up into the truck bed as Poe moved around to get the food. "As many as you want to give me....I could keep eating." he put a hand on his stomach.

“Good, you need some meat on you,” Poe said, even as he snagged a plastic plate and snagged several rellenos for Hux. He also piled on a couple of tortillas and some beans. Grabbing a set of utensils and napkins, he hauled them all back to Hux, handing them to him. “I’ll get you some pepian, too. That’s perfect for today.” He ladled out a large helping into a plastic bowl and set that beside his friend.

“You want your lunch now, Pop?” he called to his dad. “Not yet, Poe,” Kes called back. “I’ll get mine in a few minutes.” “Okay!” Poe helped himself to a large portion and then went to join Hux on the back of the truck.

  
“Thanks for helping out today,” he said and sat so their legs bumped comfortably together. “It really is better for Pop not to carry all those blocks around.”

Hux smiled as he watched Poe get the plate ready, taking it from him the moment it was offered. He loved eating anything that Poe or Kes made, the food always tasting so much more.... _good_ than what he was fed. They didn't really do sit down dinners in his house, neither Brendol nor Maratelle were cooks, or had the time for it. Hux usually cooked himself basic meals, bland but good for him, or lived off nuked instant meals. He groaned as he took his first bite, his shoulders slumping as the warm, flavorful food hit his tongue. "This is so good.." he mumbled, eyes closed as he chewed. After a few seconds he straightened up and continued eating. Hux let his mind wander as he ate, thinking to what he had been mulling over in his mind the night before. Hux already knew his father wouldn't let him go to Poe's house for Christmas, but he was going to ask if Poe could hang out with him for the night a few days before Christmas. "Hey uhm....are you doing anything on the twentieth??" He knew Poe and Kes didn't go anyway for the holidays, but they did do their own things together. He knew Kes probably wouldn't mind him stealing Poe for one night, but he always wanted to ask. "Kes doesn't have any plans for you guys that night does he?"

“Yeah, Pop is a great cook,” Poe agreed, digging into his own pepian with a low sound of pleasure. “Always has been.” He looked over at his best friend and said, “I’d like to come over on the 20th,” guessing what Hux was asking for. “I’ll bring your gifts. I’m pretty jazzed about them this year.” He flashed his bright smile at Hux, before tearing off a hunk of tortilla to chow down. “Your dad not be gonna here? Or will I have to be extra sneaky?” He had already planned to visit his friend before Christmas, even if it meant evading Hux’s father, but being invited was even better. “What time do you want me to come? I don’t mind staying out all night. Pop will understand.”

Hux swallowed his next bite and and nodded lightly, taking a deep breath. "I'm still getting it okayed by Brendol, but I was hoping you could hang out that night..." He smiled lightly towards the other boy. "I have your gifts too so maybe we can do our own thing.." He chuckled and took another bite. "And I can give you what I got for Kes." Hux didn't get much money for his own spending, but he did make a few extra dollars on the side at school for doing peoples homework. So far he had never gotten caught doing it, but it did help him keep a good name around the school, and people left him well enough alone when he was in charge of the homework.

“Wow, you are serious when you’re getting it okayed by your old man,” Poe observed with a little frown. “What if he says no? I guess we can always change the night then, so he’s not on the lookout for me trying to sneak in.” He chewed contemplatively on another piece of tortilla.

“We can do an early gift exchange! Pop will probably send me over with some food. You know him…he thinks you need to eat more. He’ll be pleased to see how much you’re eating right now.” Poe was scraping the bottom of his bowl to get the last of the pepian. “I wish you could come to the party Kylo’s mom is making him throw. I mean, the guy’s a weirdo, but given Rey's his cousin, he has to invite all of us. And his mom is great. You met her? Their place is just a little smaller than yours and already decked out for Christmas.” He made a disgruntled noise for his friend’s being stuck at home.

Hux's smile faltered at the idea that Brendol could say no, and he very well could. He had only had Poe stay over later in the night a few times, but never a full night before. "he may...but yea..if all else fails I can always just sneak you in and we can go in the attic through my closet access or something." He grumbled and took the last few bites of his food before setting the used bowl to the side. "It's okay...Even if we can't do it then, we can always do it after. It's not like we haven't waited this long already to get them, i'm sure we can wait a few days more." He smiled a bit and nudged Poe back with his leg. "Honestly I'm glad I don't get to go." He chuckled. "I mean, don't get me wrong Rey is nice, but she is a complete spaz too....and Kylo...well..He's Kylo.." He mumbled, having done some homework for the punk rocker, goth kid before. "Don't worry...whether he says yes or no, your coming over..." He smiled more triumphantly. "I'm 18 in four months, I'm feeling bold.." He laughed.

“Yeah, we’ll figure something out. Your dad’s not stealing Christmas fun from you completely. One way or another, we’ll celebrate,” Poe said determinedly. He gestured to Hux’s empty plate. “You want more? There’s plenty. And hey, can you take some for your dinner? I mean, I know you don’t get cooking that good here.” He glanced over at the mansion reflexively and scowled. “And Rey’s awesome! Just because she has more energy and is tougher than any guy in the school, Kylo included…” He enjoyed her company, especially since she was on the baseball team with him, the best second baseman in the high school. And while many of the other guys were pissed at or intimidated by her, Poe had gotten along with her since grade school. They had been fast friends, he, Rey and Finn, and their bond remained close. Only Hux had managed to get as close (closer). “You just don’t want to get stuck having to show off your dance moves.”

Hux chuckled at Poe's determination at getting to spend Christmas with Hux, a warm feeling spreading on his cheeks and his chest getting tight. Shaking his head he blushed hard. "Dance moves? I don't have dance moves, I have stumbling and falling. Your the one with the rhythm not me." He bumped his feet over against Poe's his toes getting a bit cold from his less than winter proof shoes, but he didn't care as long as he got to spend time with Poe. "Fine. I can uhm....I can try my best to see if I can go....Brendol has been in a fairly good mood recently with the business deals he has been working on going well." He smiled and leaned back on his hands, the gloves keeping his skin warm against the cool truck bed.

Poe looked at Hux with a huge smile. “Really!? That would be awesome, man! You can dance with me and fix up that stumbling and falling.” His own cheeks were flushed with the cold and delight.  
He burped suddenly and laughed into the cold air at himself. “Damn, that’s good stuff. Sure you don’t want anything else right now, Hux?” He patted his own stomach, feeling somewhat full. But he knew Hux’s eating habits were not always the best. “If not, we can go make those snow angels now. And maybe a tiny snowman? Where you’re dad can’t see it?”

Hux rolled his eyes once more and smiled, sliding off the hitch of the truck and into the packed snow below them. " _Maybe_ , I make no guarantees I will do any dancing, let alone be able to come so." He brushed off his rear of any dirt that could have been on the truck bed and stuck his hands in his pockets, turning to look at Poe still on the hitch. "Nah i'm good. I had some lunch earlier and the hot chocolate was already filling before hand." Hux idly kicked his foot out, toe tapping the bottom side of Poe's booted foot. "There is only an hour or so before Brendol gets back. Let's make those snow angels." His smile turned meek as he turned around and started to slowly stomp through the snow, knowing Poe would follow him. He hated knowing that his time to hang out was coming to an end, almost dreading the knowledge that he would have to say goodbye for the day when his father came home

Poe waved to his father. “We’ve eaten, Pop. I’m going to hang with Hux until his dad gets home. Should only he an hour or so. Then I can help you finish up!” Kes waved back at them. “Sure, son. Thanks for helping out today, Hux! I’ll pack you some leftovers to take in when you have to go.” Poe did follow quick on Hux’s heels, looking forward to just goofing off with him. Here, out of sight of other people, he felt most at his ease. He cared a lot for Hux and believed the other boy felt the same. He hadn’t tested that idea yet, but hoped to soon. They were going to leave behind their parents and high school friends soon, embarking on their college adventure together. It was time to let Hux know the Poe wanted a different kind of adventure for them, as well. A more personal one. But not quite yet. The moment wasn’t right. As soon as they were out of sight of the house, Poe suddenly charged forward and leaped with a little cry into a snowbank.

Hux gave Kes a small wave before they turned around the trees, disappearing behind the large green conifers. He chuckled as Poe ran past him and jumped into the large puff of snow, flurries flying about as he landed. He shook his head but took a few long strides before he let himself twirl, falling back into the snow next to Poe, the cold puffing up around him as he let out a small giggle. He took a deep breath where he lay, the cold seeping through his clothes but he didn't mind. "We wont get snow in California." He piped up, sliding his arms up and down a bit to make the wings of the snow angel.

Poe laughed in delight at the free way Hux went to make his snow angel, delighted that he was in the mood. “I know. But we’ll probably come back to see my dad during the holidays, right?” He glanced toward the house and flopped in his back to look more in its direction. “Will your dad and stepmom go back to England after we go to college or will they stay here?” He spread himself out in the snow to make his own snow angel, rather shorter than Hux’s. His friend was a couple of inches taller, and Poe suspected he’d not stopped growing, whereas he feared his 5 foot 9 was about his limit. But he owned every inch of his body and refused to feel smaller than anyone, despite his height.

Hux hummed slightly, thinking about Poe's questions. "I mean...yea we will come back. If Kas is going to stay here we will have to come back." He turned his head and smiled slightly. Cheeks and ears now red from the cold. "I honestly don't know. It depends on how his deals go. He has a few in England that if they go the way he wants them to then yea, they could. If they don't he has better deals here. Maratelle might go back, but she just cares about the money. The extended family over there don't really like her, but they still give her an allowance like all the others..." He rolled his eyes, hating the concept of his family. "I don't really care. Once I leave here...." He trailed off slightly. "Brendol might disown me to be honest...but I'm okay with that. I don't want to do what he does, and I don't want to be around his family either."

Poe reached out and put a hand on Hux’s chest, over his heart. “Hey, buddy, you’re part of my family now,” he said. “Pop’s and mine. You can spend all of your holidays with us, if you want. There’s just the two of us, but we’re all the family you need.” He patted his chest a few times and then smoothed over him once. He rolled up to his feet and moved to look at his angel. “Not bad, a little messy around the edges. Stand up and let’s see yours. And then we’ll build you a snow kitty. I know you still want that cat, Hux.”

Hux's head turned to look at Poe when he felt the warm hand on his chest, his cheeks going just a bit deeper red. Poe considered him apart of their family, which was both great and slightly saddening in the prospect of Hux's desire for the boy. Would that mean he planned to be friends only? He couldn't know but that didn't matter, Poe had said before and was stating again that he belonged somewhere, and that's what mattered to him. He smiled as Poe got up and stared at him from where he inspected the snow angel, pushing up and coming to stand next to Poe to see his own. His was much taller than Poe's, which was to be expected, and a little neater than the other boys. "My angel looks like its wearing a long dress." He chuckled, the idea of making a snow cat sounded cute. "Snow cat? So we just add ears instead of a nose?"

“They’re supposed to, doofus,” Poe said with a little shove at Hux. “At least yours isn’t a midget.” He laughed at his own shortness and moved to a patch of clean snow.  
“Sure, we’ll make her seated with a tail and big ears. We can use some nicely colored stones for her eyes. And if we have time, we can even carve in a few stripes,” Poe said with a pleased smile. “I don’t suppose we have anything to make her a bow? Pop may have something we can use in the truck.” He began to form her base by rolling up some snow, smiling brightly as he did. He had always enjoyed a variety of winter activities, but didn’t get to do them enough with Hux.

Hux laughed as he stumbled, pushing Poe back slightly before watching Poe begin to make the base of the snowcat. "Uhm...Not that I can think of at the moment, maybe i can find something after we are done." He moved around to the other side of the base and started to help Poe pack snow, having to move outward as their base got bigger and bigger. Eventually they moved onto the next portion and Hux started working on the tail, adding snow in a curved line as Poe worked up on the body. He was having fun, idly talking about whatever came to his mind, which was mostly ideas and thoughts about their planned escape to California, and occasionally dealing with snow hijinks from Poe, and returning them. He finished the tail and sat back, his fingers and toes were cold but he was having too much fun. "You almost done with the base yet slowpoke?" He chuckled, grabbing some snow and tossing it at Poe, hitting his arm with the snow.

Poe worked on carving the legs and paws for the snow cat with delicate care, making sure to give her nice toes. He spluttered when Hux hit him with a snowball, causing him to know a toe off. “Hux!” he said in mock outrage. “Now look what you’ve done! I’ve knocked off one of her toes!” He grabbed a hunk of snow and playfully threw it at Hux’s butt, nailing it. He was a baseball player, after all. He then dove for cover, already gathering up more snow to toss at Hux. His head poked out just briefly to survey where his friend was and lob more snowballs in his direction. “This is war!”

Hux chuckles as he sees the snow fly, the smack of the snow against his ass making him let out a shriek that carried a bit and he fell down to kneel in the snow. He grappled up a handful, hearing Poe's declaration of war and turned back around to see Poe's head sticking out from behind the large snow cat. "You may have good aim but I'm a strategist!" He called out, pushing back up to run around the other side of the snow cat and plop the snow right at Poe's head. He dove around the snow cat and threw the snow ball at Poe, sliding a bit in the wet grass and snow as he tossed it.

“A strategist, huh?” Poe called back, even as snow splattered near him and caught part of his hair. “All I see is a guy hiding behind an innocent snow cat! Hostage taking is not allowed!” He darted up and headed for more cover, throwing three snowballs at Hux in quick succession.

Peering around a tree, he scooped up more snow and threw it in Hux’s direction, followed by just charging flat out at him. If they’d had more time, he would have loved a prolonged snowball fight, but with Hux senior back soon, he wanted to make sure they finished their snowcat. Hence, the wild charge, which he made even crazier with a loud whooping noise.

Hux laughed as he was pelted with the three snowballs in succession, falling back onto his ass. He lifted his arms just incase there was anymore, stopping him from seeing Poe charging after him, only hearing the war cry till last minute. When Poe takled him and oofed and fell into the snow under Poe, his arms splayed back, giggling uncontrollably and out of breath already from the short fight. "No fair! You play baseball and cheated!" He laughed, letting his arms fall to the side into the snow.

Poe burst into laughter with Hux and rolled off him to sprawl into the snow again, limbs akimbo. “I didn’t start it!” He declared. “It’s not my fault you decided to attack someone who plays shortstop on the varsity squad!” He grabbed a handful of snow and plopped it right on Hux’s thin chest in playful teasing. “Next time choose a fight your strategy can help with. I mean, I’d never challenge you to a game of chess or Risk or like any board game. I like to have some of my ego intact.” He sat back up and looked at their snowcat. “Now come on, I want to get her done. You build the head while I fix her poor foot and finish her legs. We’ve still got time before your dad gets home.”

Hux laughed as Poe rolled off, a little out of breath but still giggling away. He brushed the snow off and got up, going back to their snow cat and piling the snow on in order to finish her. Hux worked on the head, his hands smoothing out the snow to make a nice round face with three round spots for the nose and mouth, as well as making two triangular points on the top for ears. He made sure it looked nice and cute before reaching down and searching the ground for some pebbles, finding some over under the trees they were hiding behind, bringing them back and placing them into the snow where the eyes were. Hux chuckled as he realize the cat looked to wide eyed, taking some snow and making little eyelids to give it a more "catlike" moody face. His last tidbit was taking six small twigs and pushing them into the face, now complete with whiskers on the face. He took a step back, putting his arms on his hips as he realized they were finished. "Done!." He smiled, staring at their combined work of art.

Poe, less dexterous with this hands in this circumstance than Hux, took a bit more time to finish off her legs, feet and some stripes. He added a few touches to her ears, as Hux finished off the face. When he stepped back to look over their creation, he made a noise of delight. “She’s awesome! I wish I had a camera to take a picture of her. Don’t think Pop has one in the truck right now.” He frowned a second in disappointment, before turning to give Hux a quick bump with his shoulder. “I don’t think your dad’s back yet. I guess we should walk you back to the house and let you get inside and changed before he arrives and decides you look too dirty for his tastes.” He scowled, angry at Hux’s father for being an asshole.

Hux chuckled and bumped his side into Poe, lingering there for a few seconds before leaning back away. "We have one in the house. It's Brendol's polaroid but he never uses it so I don't think he will miss one picture." He smiled. "Give me a moment. I'll be back!" Hux turned and ran off, disappearing behind the trees. It took him a few minutes to find it, but he found the polaroid camera sitting on the hallway closet shelf. Brendol never used the thing, not really caring about taking photos and no family pictures to be heard of, so Hux wasn't worried about using it. He came back running and slid around the tree, camera in hand. "got it!" He stopped once again next to Poe and turned the camera on, lifting it and snapping a picture of the snow cat. It took a second, the camera wirring a bit before the film came out the front. He shook the flim for a moment before holding it out to Poe. "Stand next to her!"

Poe watched as Hux raced off, belying the idea that he was not athletic, if to a lesser degree than him. He shook his head with a little smile and spent the few minutes waiting for him fixing up their snowcat with a few last details. He smiled as he straightened her whiskers, best pleased with the results. As Hux retuned, Poe turned with a laugh and said, “Only if you’ll let me take some pictures of you, too.” He moved close to the snowcat and put a hand on its head, as if he were petting the sculpture of snow. “How’s this?” He grinned at the other teenager, giving him a perfect smile for the shot. “Shall I pose like one of those French models?” He simpered and made a silly, ‘sexy’ posture next to the snow beast.

Hux laughed and rolled his eyes, normally hating having his picture taken, but for this instance he would be fine with it. "Yea yea, I'll let you get one of me just." He stood back a few feet from Poe and the snow cat, cocking his head a bit as he waited for Poe to get his pose. His cheeks went red however with Poe's sultry, but badly done movie reference and rolled his eyes, though the biting of his lower lip might have given him away. "I'll show Kes whatever picture I take so make sure it wont make him angry." He stuck his tongue out, lifting the Polaroid camera quickly. "Hurry! I don't have allot of time with this." He gave Poe a few more moments to get his pose before taking the picture.

Poe just snickered and said, “Fine. One for him and one just for you. First, for you.” He turned on a bright, friendly smile and put a hand on the snow sculptures head to allow Hux to take a ‘normal’ picture. “And now for you.” He blew a kiss to Hux and adjusted his hips to a more alluring posture. “What do you think? Will I do?” He enjoyed this gentle flirting with Hux, especially since his friend often blushed at the playfulness. He hoped it might indicate that his friend might return his feelings, but it was rather difficult to tell with Hux. The teenager played his emotions fairly close to his vest, even with Poe. And they didn’t get enough time together away from prying eyes for Poe to really push the issue.

Hux took the pictures, but he hadn't realized what Poe was going to do until the second picture was taken, his face red as it could get. He made a small flustered noise, but grabbed the second film, shaking it a few times before looking, blushing harder and stuffing it in his pocket. "ha ha very funny." He stuck his tongue out. "Now come on, take your picture and let me get it back in the house." He held the camera out to Poe as he walked up to the snow cat, his mouth in a pout but his eyes showed nothing but affection.

Poe laughed at the pout and said, “Aw come on, you know you love it.” He thought the other teen just might like it as much as Poe teased him, given the blush over his cheeks.  
Still, he took the camera (carefully, as neither of their lives were worth crap if he broke a camera that technically belonged to Armitage’s father) and moved into position to take the best pictures of Hux. “Okay, the first one is for official display with my dad and my stuff, so give me your best smile. The second one will be just for me, so give me whatever expression you’d want me to have of you forever to remember you at this moment.” He hoped that Hux would find a fun one for both, though he somehow doubted Hux would be as autre as he would be with the same ask. Still, he never counted out his friend, who often surprised him. “Come on, Hux.”

Hux huffed, but his pout soon turned into a small smile, taking in a deep breath and getting close to the snow cat. He stood sort of stiff, one hand on the snow cat's side to keep him steady but a pleasant smile that he had seemed to perfected for "family" photos that were done each year. Maratelle's family always wanted pictures of them during the holidays, so the three of them had to get stiffly dressed and pose for _one_ nice photo. Once the first picture was taken, he seemed to relax, leaning now against the snow cat, his smile becoming softer but it was definitely more genuine. Just as Poe took the picture, he stuck his tongue out a bit, his cheeks rosy and his eyes creased lightly in amusement. It was cute, and you could tell in the picture that Hux wasn't looking _at_ the camera, but to the person holding it. "Alright alright." He huffed again, his cheeks rosy from the moment as he walked over and held out his hand for the camera. "Let me get this back inside before Brendol sniffs us out or something." He chuckled.

“Hux, I’m going to put the second picture up,” Poe said with a little roll of his eyes. “Dad and I don’t want to add a picture of you looking like someone just shoved made your spine out of steel on the board.” He referred to the big mural of photographs of friends and family that was one of the main focuses of the family living room. “You’re actually smiling in the second one.” He touched the face on the photograph with a pleased look, before tucking them both away in his coat pocket. He handed the camera back to Hux and said, “Like I said before, I’ll walk you back to the house. You should get a shower and clean up, so your dad doesn’t know you were slumming. I mean, he’ll know, but there’ll be no proof to set him off. And you can sneak your leftovers in, too. I’m sure Pop packed a bunch for you. You are too skinny.” He gave him an affectionate poke in the ribs. He took Hux’s right arm and headed for the truck, determined not to let his friend wander away without his food and a goodbye from the older Dameron. “Pop will want to wish you a Merry Christmas, too, since he won’t get a chance to see you again before.”

Hux rolled his eyes but he didn't argue, knowing he wouldn't be able to fight it, and honestly he didn't really _mind_ Poe's family seeing him like that anyway. He frowned as they walked, pouting. "I smiled in the first one.." His eyebrows pursed, but he didn't continue arguing it as they got back to the truck. He held the camera in one hand, and Poe's arm in the other as they walked, his mind on the thought of how warm Poe's side was, having to push the thought away. "I'm not that skinny Poe." He made a face but laughed, _knowing_ he was on the thinner end for the average boys of their age. When they got to the truck, there was indeed a bundle of food wrapped for him, more than he could probably eat in one sitting, but he would get it finished eventually. "Thanks Mr-..Kes! He waved and took the bundle of food with the hand still in Poe's arm, neither of them seeming willing to let go as they made it over to Kes. "It was good. Thank you for letting me help too. I would have just been stuck staring at the same page over and over." He chuckled.

“Thank you for your help,” Kes said with a bright smile for Hux. “And Happy Holidays, kid. If you can get over for some of our holiday food, you’re always welcome.” Kes made the same offer to Hux every year, but so far, he’d never taken him up on the invitation. He still held out hope that the teen might manage it, especially since he knew the Hux household was not a joyous one (to say the least). “And enjoy the leftovers. There’s plenty.” Poe just grinned at his dad, glad that he accepted Hux. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to the house,” he said. “And that was not a real smile in that first photo. It was more like what happens when you have to take a school photograph. I’ve seen the last two yearbooks, so I know. It’s like a plastic professional smile.” He bumped comfortably against Hux’s shoulder as they began to walk together again. “So, you’ll be at the party and then I’ll sneak over here, right? Or are you gonna take a chance and ask your dad?”

"Thanks Kes. If I can manage it I'll be over." He smiled, though it was tinted with sadness. He waved once more as they walked towards the house, Hux's sadness getting worse already as he knew he would be going back to doing nothing in his room, while Poe went home with his father. He wasn't jealous, not in the way most people would be, he was happy that Poe got that, and jealous that he couldn't experience it for himself, but he would never hate Poe over it. Or tell him for that matter.

"Yea yea.....it's a habit, sorry. I'm trained to do that when I see a camera. Can't look unhappy when living in the Hux families house." He said the last part with irritation. He leaned into the bump and sighed. "I...I'll let you know. It depends on how Brendol is feeling and I can't ask to early or he might change his mind the day of.." Brendol had a way of changing his mind on a dime for no reason at all, taking any little thing and making it a perceived slight by his son.

“Hey, buddy, I don’t hear from you, and I’ll be climbing your balcony just like I promised,” Poe said. “He can’t keep me from you. You’re going to have a nice Christmas despite the fucker.” He patted Hux on the right shoulder. “You hear me? He doesn’t get that. Right?” He knew they both just had to hold on a little longer, but it felt interminable sometimes, not to mention wrong that Hux was stuck dealing with his crappy ‘family.’ He felt like he and his Pop were more Hux’s family than Maratelle or Brendol ever would be. “Right?”

Hux smiled as Poe spoke, leaning into the hold as they finally made it over to his house. "Yea...Yea i know. no matter what, come rain or shine, we will have this together." He smiled sheepishly, glancing over to Poe's warm eyes for a moment before looking away. "I promise will get the time together no matter what." He couldn't pat Poe back, his hands full of camera and leftovers. "Get home safe, and ill see you soon okay." He smiled, licking his lips as he unconsciously flicked his eyes down to Poe's lips.

“Good, I’m holding you to that,” Poe said, pointing at Hux. “And forget rain…you mean blizzard or shine.” He looked up at the somewhat gloomy sky. “I bet we get another foot tonight. But I’ll be here, no matter.” He bumped Hux companionably again. “Later.” He turned easily on one foot and jogged back to where his dad waited with the truck.

Day's passed, Hux never getting the courage to ask his father to go to the Organa-Solo Christmas party. He had mentioned going out to the library for Christmas, as their library stayed open all year round for those who were given door keys (only the trusted kids were given them) and then slipped the fact that Kes had invited him over for Christmas if he wanted to go. Brendol had been silent as he asked, sitting at his desk as he typed up his papers on his type writer, his face set into a frown as it always was. It wasn't until Hux had gone silent that he finally spoke, saying only a single word. "No." before he went silent again.

Hux had stood there for a few moments, his face going pale, his heart pounding as he tried to raise the courage to ask "why not?", but instead, he muttered a "yes sir." and turned around. He fought the tears in his eyes as he closed the office door behind him, quietly making to his room before he broke down in his bedroom, crying silently into his pillow. He _knew_ he would see Poe, but that wasn't the point. He wanted to spend time with Poe's family, with Kes and with everyone else. He was glad he would get to spend the Christmas's at college with Poe, and maybe with Kes in the future but...this was his last Christmas as a kid.

He called up Poe the next morning once Brendol and Maratelle were gone from the house, not wanting one of them to listen in on another phone. He told Poe he wasn't able to make it to the party, nor was he going to be able to come out for Christmas. Brendol had never stopped Poe from coming over, regardless of how he disliked the "help's spawn" being in his house, but he knew Kes would stop working for him if he ever yelled at his kid. That was the only thing that saved him for having the worst Christmas ever as he sat on his bed, waiting for Poe to arrive.

Poe barely refrained from ripping the phone out of the wall when Hux told him he couldn’t take the party or come over for Christmas, not that he was really surprised. But the hurt and disappointment in his best friend’s voice upset Poe somewhere deep in his chest. He hated how badly Hux’s so-called family treated him. Hated how often they disappointed or out and out injured him for no apparent reason, except their own cold-heartedness.

He didn’t enjoy the party very much himself, knowing Hux sat home alone all by himself. So, the moment it was possible to go see his friend, he scaled the fence at the same spot he always did and scrambled up the trellis on the side of the house to access Hux’s bedroom window. Rapping twice with his knuckles to let Hux knew he was there’re opened the window and slid easily inside, shutting out the cold winter night after himself. Quickly divesting of backpack, heavy coat and boots, he said, “Merry Christmas, Hux,” and gave his friend the huge hug he knew nobody else in his life provided. “How are you? I missed you at the party. Fucking sucks that your dad is such a complete asshole and didn’t let you go.” He tightened his hold. “But he couldn’t keep me away. Just like I promised.”

Hux had been laying on his bed when Poe came in, sprawled out face down on his bed staring off into nothing. He heard the taps and the window opening, a small smile pulling on his lips. He was glad he had stopped crying hours ago, but the skin under his eyes were just a touch red. He turned his head just in time to be engulfed by Poe, taking a deep, sad sigh as Poe spoke. He lifted an arm to hold Poe back and just take in the embrace. He felt a wave of sadness crash over him though, his lip quivering as he held his face into the fabric of Poe's shirt. He let out a silent sob, shame washing over him as he couldn't hold it back. "sorry." He mumbled, feeling like shit for being over emotional just as Poe got there. Hux wanted to have _fun_ with Poe, not make it a sad, crying shit show for his friend.

“What the fuck are you apologizing for?” Poe asked and tightened his hold on his friend even more. “It’s your dad who’s to blame for everything. But he can’t take the from us, Hux. Right?”  
He rolled off his friend and removed his letter jacket as well, pulling a small package out of the pocket. “I have your gift here. Shall we open them now or wait for later?” He tossed the letter jacket carelessly to the side, not noticing when it went behind a chair instead of landing on the arm. He sat back down next to Hux, making sure that his hip rested against Hux’s. “I hope you like it.”

Hux took a second to compose himself, wiping his eyes off on his sleeve and sniffling as he pushed himself up sitting. He had been so upset that he completely forgot he had a gift for Poe, smiling through his red, teary face as he held out small package. "thank you...I'm sorry-...i mean...fuck ill stop crying now." He let out a small laugh and wiped his face again, taking a deep calming breath before reaching out to take the gift. He was about to tear it open before he said a quick hold on and got up from his bed, making his way to his closet as he dug down and pulled out a larger gift and climbed back up on the bed, scooting close once again to be side to side with Poe. "Here, lets open them together." He smiled, holding out the gift. "I uh...I got this a few months ago for you when I went down to New York with Brendol for that business trip." He looked back down to his gift and smiled, feeling as if he was holding the only thing in the world that mattered to him at this very moment. He began opening it as Poe opened his, excited to see what was inside.

Even as Hux began to open his gift, Poe leaned forward and lightly thumbed away a leftover tear on his friend’s right cheek. “You don’t have to stop or apologize, Hux. I’m sorry your father is such an ass to you. You react how you need to. Don’t need to hide from me. Fuck knows, you’ve seen my cry enough…cause of my mom.” He squeezed Hux’s right shoulder once, before returning to his present. He began to carefully open the gift, loving the fancy paper Hux used and determined not to ruin it. He made a soft noise of pleasure at the leather-bound notebook inside, along with an equally fancy pen. “Hey, these are sweet,” he said, opening the book and thumbing through its blank pages. “I can use this at college. Thanks, Hux.” He leaned into his friend and gave him a one-armed hug, but no less warm and tight for it. “You’re the best!” His eyes darted down his gift in Hux’s hands. “I hope you like yours as much.”

Hux's cheeks went red as Poe's fingers touched his skin, his green eyes flicking over to look at him quickly before back down at his gift as he opened it. "I...I know. I just...It's hard ya know...when your not used to it." He smiled softly, knowing that it was true Poe didn't care about tears, or emotions like most the other guys at their school. When Poe's mom passed away, he had been a mess and even though it was hard for Hux to figure out how to...navigate that, he stuck by Poe when he needed him too. It was hard to see his friend hurt so bad, not knowing how to deal with the emotions himself, only crying for his friend once he got home and was alone to cry. He looked over as Poe opened his gift carefully, smiling wider as he saw the genuine look of happiness on his face as he saw his present. "Thats...thats what I thought too." He chuckled and finished opening his gift. "oh...these are.." Hux lifted a pair of very expensive, very awesome, aviator sunglasses. His eyes widened and he looked over to Poe, a smirk on his face. "Poe these are expensive!" Saying that didn't stop him from opening the arms and quickly putting them on his face, turning to look at Poe. "Well? How do I look?"

“Awesome,” Poe said sincerely. “You look awesome, Hux.” He hopped off the bed and tugged Hux to go look at himself in the mirror. “I know sunlight bothers you, and your dad would never get you glasses that cool, if he got you anything.” He snorted grumpily at the idea of Hux’s dad. “But these will protect your eyes and make you look good.” He was very pleased with the way Hux looked in his gift, as well as his reaction. He had saved up for quite a long time to afford them, and his dad had kicked in some monies at the end in payment for some assistance Poe gave him, which put him over the top to get the style he wanted for Hux.

“Merry Christmas, Hux,” he said with quiet happiness. “Thank you for my gift. I love it.”

Hux's smile grew as Poe told him he looked awesome in the new sunglasses, feeling his chest swell with affection as he was pulled off the bed and towards his bedroom mirror. He stood there with Poe, the two of them in the mirror looking both a mess, and put together at the same time. Hux in his comfortable clothes, plus aviators, making his messy hair look less like bed head and more like it was wind swept, and Poe, his nice clothes still on from Christmas. Hux's heart started pounding, a thought crossing his mind as he stood there looking at the two of them, his smile fading into something more anxious as he bit his lip lightly. "P..Poe there is...uhm..." His cheeks went red, hands curling into hard fists at his side as he struggled to not fidget. "There is something I have been wanting to tell you but....I haven't been able to say anything for....for a long time.." His chest rose and fell quickly, short breaths, for some reason he was beginning to feel as though if he didn't say something now, he would never be able to say anything ever again. He was happy that the sunglasses hid his eyes, not letting Poe see the fear in them as he hung the balance of their friendship on the edge.

“Whoa, hey,” Poe said, noticing how Hux seemed on the verge of hyperventilating. “Whatever it is can’t be that bad, Hux. I’ll listen to anything you’ve got to say.” He set aside his gift and urged Hux to turn toward him, hands on his shoulders. “You know I’ve told you all kinds of embarrassing crap.” He wondered what it was that had Hux so visibly worked up. What with his family dynamics, Hux seldom showed so much emotion, even to Poe. The crying before had been one of the few times even now that he’d seen the emotions he sensed ran deep in his friend. For Hux to now demonstrate more pent up feelings worried Poe. Was there something wrong beyond the difficulties of being the son of Brendol Hux? “You’re scaring me, Hux,” he said, allowing his own emotions, always much closer to the surface than Hux’s, to show. “What’s wrong?”

Hux fell a shiver run up his spine when Poe put his hands on him to sit him down, still glad that he had the sunglasses to hide his eyes. "I..uhm" He kept his face turned up to Poe, the dark shades casting his room and the other boy in a brown glow. "I.." He stuttered, feeling himself grow small. What if Poe rejected him? What if all that Poe wanted was a friendship? He didn't even know if Poe liked boys! What if he told Poe and then Poe told Kes and then Kes told Brendol? he would be dead. "I..." He felt like there was cotton in his mouth. He looked down, staring at his lap instead so he could try and actually speak. "I...I have had a crush on you since I first met you." He mumbled, the words quick and hard to hear but the words "have had" "since" "met you" were clearer than the rest.

Surprise filled Poe’s face for only a second, before delight replaced that first emotion. He knew Hux wasn’t lying to him, wouldn’t have any reason to and certainly would never say such a thing as a joke. He reached out and carefully removed Hux’s new sunglasses, setting them out of potential harm. “Since you met me,” he said with deep pleasure, before he surged forward and sealed their mouths together. It was a gentle press of lip-to-lip, but with more than a hint of passion. He stroked Hux’s soft red hair a few times, before pulling back. “I feel the same, Hux,” he said softly. “But it’s not something I was brave enough to share, either. There’s too much risk.”

Hux blinked a few times as the glasses were removed from his face, looking up to see a smile on Poe's face. For a moment he felt as thought his world was hanging between a very very thin balance of this could be bad, this could be good, but Poe tipped the scale the moment their faces got close. Hux's eyes widened as Poe kissed him, his lips soft and warm, and the hand in his hair, his heart now wanting to pound out of his chest. He had never felt something like this before, his affection was being _returned_ in a way he had never expected it to. His eyes followed Poe as he pulled back, not having really taken a breath yet until he let out a shaky laugh.

He felt embarrassed, mostly for the two of them it seemed as Poe seemed to have been struggling with the same issue he had. "you...feel the same..." He started laughing, curling up a bit as he realized how stupid the situation was. They both liked each other, but were too afraid to say something, but the emotionally constipated one was the one to finally break the ice. "I..I'm not laughing at you...I promise." He kept chuckling, having to get it out before he looked back up at Poe, his cheeks red. He finally stopped laughing, wiping tears from his eyes. "so...what now?" He had no idea where to go from here, not actually having expected to have his affection be returned. "are...are we dating now? is..is that too soon? Can I kiss you again? Does Kes know? Oh shit what if Brendol finds out." Hux's mouth went a mile a minute suddenly, as he usually did.

Poe leaned in and kissed him again, this time a little more forcefully, to try to stop the flow of words. But he kept it brief, just wanting to ease Hux’s mind. “One thing at a time,” he murmured. “I’m still at the idea that we like each other as more than friends.” He knelt between Hux’s legs and leaned on them, grinning up at him. “This really is the best Christmas present ever.” He rubbed over Hux’s long thighs subconsciously. “I was planning to say something, once we got away from here. I’ve never told anybody I like guys. I think Finn might have guessed, though. You know how emotionally aware he is…but he’d never say anything. He’s Finn.” Poe shrugged one shoulder. “I’m happy to date secretly. I wasn’t planning to go out with anybody else this year, anyway. Even for prom, I was hoping to just go with a group of us. So, yeah, if you want to date, I want to date. For the next few months, it can be private, but maybe in Berkeley…. I’ve heard you can be freer there, you know?” He ducked his head, a little shy about the idea of holding hands or kissing Hux in public, but wanting it just the same. “As for telling anybody…well, I don’t think Pop will care, but we won’t tell anybody you don’t want. Ever. And definitely not your dad.”

Hux's voice fell silent when Poe kissed him again, this time letting his eyes close and his shoulders relax, pressing back into it. He felt a wave of sadness when the other boy pulled back, biting his lip and licking over where Poe touched. "I...guess I jumped the gun." He chuckled nervously, feeling warm all over as Poe was now so close to him. The idea of dating publicly was, well, terrifying. Their area wasn't really all that open, let alone his father. He had no doubts that Kes would really care, knowing he was a loving man no matter what. He nodded, liking the idea of keeping it to themselves for now. "yea...yea I like that.." He pushed back up onto the bed, pulling himself to lean against the head board where he patted beside him. "sit with me?" He felt so giddy, wanting to be next to Poe as much as he possibly could. He held his hand out, hoping the other boy would take it. He had always been given touch when it came to Poe, the other boy not averse to it and always giving it freely, but now Hux craved it in a way that felt ridiculous. He was _alowed_ to have it, he was able to do more than just bump shoulders or get a hug. He could kiss, or hold hands, or put his head on his shoulders.

Poe took Hux’s hand happily and. climbed on the bed after him, moving forward to kiss him again. He kept their one pair of hands joined, but placed his free hand on Hux’s right cheek as he leaned in to kiss him again. Although Poe had some experience with kissing, this was a completely new sensation, since there was an intense connection between them that he’d never had with any of his girlfriends. Their lips touched softly for the first few seconds, but Poe could barely bear it and increased the contact almost instantly. He pushed his tongue forward in a somewhat graceless attempt to ask for permission to enter. He also moved so their chests pressed together, one leg thrown over both of Hux’s. He wanted as much contact between them as possible. He hoped Hux didn’t mind this almost overeager kiss blitz, but now that he knew Hux liked him as much as he liked Hux, it felt like his entire body was alive. He desired this intense connection between them almost desperately, which he knew was obvious in his actions. (Not to mention in the boner that was even now rubbing against Hux’s left thigh.) But he was too far gone to be embarrassed by his actions, just a little worried that Hux might not appreciate them.

Hux was elated, his face hot and his palm sweaty in Poe's hand as their touch increased. He loved Poe making this move, the pace of it, to afraid to do it himself. It was better than any dirty fantasy he had ever thought up while alone in bed or any of the dirty mags that Kylo snuck around in his backpack. He moaned as he felt Poe completely against him, opening his mouth slightly against the wet tongue on his lips. He knew they wouldn't be able to do much other than make out, not that he needed anything more than that in this moment, but making out for him was enough. "mmmn..." His other hand moved up to cup the hand holding his cheek, then moved to Poe's side. He could feel Poe through his own sleep pants, his own boner tenting the front. "mmglad...I..said smthin.." He spoke through the kiss, chuckling.

Poe pulled back and looked at him, dazed and lips already plumped from the kissing. “What did you say?” he asked having not understood Hux through the kiss. He didn’t want to press on though, in case Hux had asked him to stop or said something else equally important. Besides, he’d just realized breathing was still a necessity. He barely refrained from rubbing against Hux’s leg, but asked, “Is this okay? Is it too much? Fuck, Hux, I want to crawl on top of you. I’m already so hard for you.” He snuck a glance at Hux’s groin and made a pleased noise at the tent. “Fuck, I want to touch you. Please. Can I just reach down your pants?” He had never been with a boy before, but his curiosity drove him on, and he trusted Hux not to laugh at him if he fumbled a bit. Besides, how different from his own erections (which he’d handled since he was 12?)

Hux chased after the parting kiss as much as he could before he realized Poe was asking him something, his puffy red lips parted still from kissing and his cheeks red. "Huh? no i ...i said im glad i said something." He chuckled, his green eyes blown wide with lust. He couldn't help the small wine that escaped him when Poe asked him if he could touch him, the desire to do just that to Poe as well was great, but it would be much harder to get into Poe's pants compared to his own. "y...yes please...please. If you want to." He pushed his hips up, feeling Poe's erection on his own leg, the warmth radiating from the two of them. Hux pulled his hand away from Poe's and moved them both to Poe's shoulders, pulling him back into a deep kiss, not wanting to be parted for too long.

Poe went more than willingly, now moving fully on top of the taller teenager and wrapping both arms around his neck. He spread his legs so his knees landed on either side of Hux’s narrow hips. His already aching cock bumped against Hux’s and sent a surge of pleasure up his spine so strong that he jolted away from Hux’s mouth on a loud moan. “Oh, fuck, Hux, that’s so damn good,” he said. “That felt so awesome.” He shifted to more squarely rub their cocks together, wanting more of that sensation. “Better than with anybody else,” he murmured. “Is it the best for you, too?” He began to rut against Hux forcefully, forgetting all about using his hand. The sheer need to feel Hux beneath him and against him swamped all other desires, even as he kissed him again, also desiring that contact.

Hux had to stifle his own groaning as their hips touched, a shiver running down his spine and his hips jerking up to meet Poe's. "mmn..never...never been...anyone else." He mumbled against Poe's lips, having to take quick breaths through his nose as he didn't want to part from this new found feeling. He could feel Poe's cock against his own, the lewdness of it making him even harder and setting his hear racing. Hux knew Poe had girlfriends throughout their years, but he didn't know that Poe had ever gotten with them sexually, not that he cared. He knew he had Poe's attention know, and that's what mattered. "mnn ahh.." He groaned as they rutted together, already feeling himself getting close from just the friction, horny and turned on by something he truly desired making it hard to even try lasting for a long time.

“Have you ever done this, Hux?” Poe blurted, wanting desperately to be his first, even if he couldn’t give Hux the same thing. He offered as close as he could, saying, “I’ve never been with a boy. You’re the only boy I’ve ever wanted, Hux. Just you.” He barely refrained from biting down on his chin or neck and leaving a mark they couldn’t deny. The desire to do so was strong. He struggled to slow his own wild bucking a little bit, not wanting to lose control quite so embarrassingly quickly. But the lovely feeling of Hux beneath him, against him made any control near impossible. “You feel so good,” he whined. “I’ve wanted this for so long. Wanted you.” Determinedly, he kissed Hux again, more demanding with his tongue now, though he tried not to be completely uncouth in his actions.

Hux shook his head with the question, mumbled a small no into their kiss. He was beginning to get winded, their kisses longer and longer and his breathing quickening with the desire to pant. "ah...never been with...anyone." At this point, Hux had even forgotten that Brendol and Marartelle might even be home, the thought of his "parents" the furthest thing on his mind, so he wasn't as quiet as he might should be. Hux's hands roamed Poe 's chest, his hands having found their way underneath his shirt and touching the warm skin there.

Poe groaned and shrugged off the shirt in a fluid motion, tossing it aside. He then began to wrestle with Hux’s, wanting to feel more skin-to-skin contact between them. His hips never stopped moving, though, the grind of cock-to-cock even through multiple layers of clothes too good to give up even for a moment.

“Off,” he groaned at Hux. “Off. I’ve barely ever even seen you without a shirt on, Hux. Want to touch. Fuck.” He was near to ripping the material in his uncoordinated haste.

Hux had to stifle the giggle as Poe struggled to pull him out from his t-shirt, having to let go of Poe's sides in order to lift his arms up, allowing Poe to pull it off. Hux didn't feel ashamed by his thin, light and freckled skin, knowing that regardless Poe would like it. Poe was just that way. He did however get chills, his skin rippling as he shivered. "y...you have much more muscle than I do." He chuckled, looking up at Poe were he sat, biting his lip as Poe ground their hips together.

And Poe did indeed love how different Hux was from him. He enjoyed all the pale, smooth skin, sprinkled with a starry night of freckles. His hands smoothed over the thin torso a few times, before he zeroed in on the pert, perfect pink nipples. He pinched and pulled each one in delight. But although he was stimulating Hux that way, the sheer act of getting to touch such an intimate spot on Hux made his hips double-time. His cock hardened to near granite, before he simply let go with a long shout and sprayed his briefs with come. Not that he cared, given how fucking amazing it felt.

The combination of Poe's grinding, the kissing and the touching of his chest had him spilling over into his sleep pants right after Poe, shivering at the intensity as the two of them came down. He was, however, rudely interrupted by the sound of his bedroom door slamming open so hard the door handle smacked into the drywall. "ARMITAGE! What the hell are you! D-...." Hux's head snapped to the open doorway, his eyes wide and full of fear, looking like a deer in the headlights. Brendol looked between Hux and Poe, his pale, pasty skin getting redder and redder by the second as visual anger grew and grew. Hux felt like ice cold water had been dumped over his head, his body going stiff and the moment _completely_ gone.

Poe scrambled off of Hux and dragged on his shirt roughly. He turned to face Brendol Hux with an upturned chin and a fearless gaze. “Mr. Hux,” he said formally and inched over to be between him and his son. “I came to wish your son a happy holidays and give him a present.”

He refused to be intimidated by this man, especially because he could feel the fear pouring off of Hux as much as he could feel the anger from his father. And he wasn’t certain what Brendol might do to his son.  
He ignored the wet gooey mess in his pants, refusing to be ashamed by anything he’d done with Hux. (The quick destruction of any enjoyment they’d gotten out of their first time also fueled his anger at Brendol.)

Brendol seemed to break loose like a boiler, almost like any second he would actually start steaming from the ears. "Shut the fuck up." Brendol pointed to Poe, his eyes still holding onto Hux's wide ones. He stomped over to Hux's bedside in a few steps, snatching Hux up by the arm with a squeal as he dragged him off the bed. "OUT. Get out of my house you....you-" Brendol was close to saying something nasty before Hux interrupted him. "N..no dad please it was me I..I started-" The sound of skin against skin sounded, Brendol having backhanded Hux into silence before he let him drop to the floor where he kneeled now. "You two will _never_ see each other again." Brendol stalked towards Poe, jabbing a large finger against the young man's chest. "Your father's business isn't wanted, and I never want to see your face on my property again." He jabbed again, his voice intense making Hux flinch where he kneeled, tears streaming down his face.

“Touch me again,” Poe said angrily, “or strike him again. I dare you, old man.” He stepped closer to Brendol, against the finger on his chest. “You may have money, but nobody here likes you or your wife! I grew up here. My Pop is friends with the guys on the police force! He does their homes for half-price! What do you do for anybody!?” He was puffed up with righteous anger and fear for his friend, the person he cared for only second to his father. How dare his father hit him!? And it made him stand-up to the terror that was Brendol Hux. He knew money counted for a lot, but he believed the people of the town wouldn’t stand by a man like Hux over the Damerons. “I care about your son, which is more than can be said for you!” he went on. “You just don’t like the idea that somebody in his life treats him decently, like he deserves!”

Brendol seemed to anger more at Poe's defiance, his eyes widening and his mouth pulling more into a snarl. He allowed Poe to speak, but only in turn to do something neither of the two boys would have expected. He calmed down. It was weird though, the look at that Brendol was now giving Poe, almost like a devil hiding their purpose. "The only reason we ever moved to this town in the first place was because how stupid the police force and local officials were in the first place, so you having your _good friends_ in the force means nothing to me." He let out a huff, standing straight. "This town has flourished since we moved here, because of us, lets see how much the town does without it." Brendol glanced back at Hux who was still on the ground, crying silently as he kneeled there not having moved. He turned back to Poe and snarled "Now leave before i _make_ you leave." Hux looked up from the ground to Poe, mouth he would be okay and giving his friend....more than friend a hopeful nod.

“You think too much of yourself,” Poe said quietly. “It’s only one of your problems.” He turned away from Brendol and knelt by Hux.

  
“Are you alright?” he asked reaching out to touch the mark on his face. “That fucker,” he hissed, not caring if Brendol heard him. “I’ll stay if you want. Or we can leave together. You don’t have to put up with being hit, Hux.” He didn’t like having his back to Hux’s father, but he was willing to fight if the other man insisted. Brendol, like his son, had height on Poe, but he was more muscular than either of them. And he was sure Brendol wasn’t used to people standing up to him.

Brendol's mouth pulled into another sneer, eyes following Poe as he moved across the room to Hux's side. He knew he couldn't strike the boy, not really, if he didn't want to deal with _some_ form of issue from the father. He would let this little fight happen, knowing that there was no winning in the end with how Brendol planned on handling it. Hux sniffled, eyes peaking up to catch Brendol's eyes, looking away quickly and back down, not being able to meet Poe's. "I-i'm ok Poe, really...I'm ok." He spoke just quiet enough to sound respectable. "You...You don't have to stay, i'm fine...just...I'm fine..." He took a deep breath. Brendol crossed his arms, eyes glaring down on the two. "If you don't leave this house I'm calling the cops on you for trespassing. I know you climbed through the window, now get out."

“I know better,” Poe said softly, so only Hux could hear. “I need you to tell me you want me to leave, Hux. I don’t like the idea of leaving you here alone with him. He could hurt you…worse than he already did. “Please, Hux, come with me. Screw him. Pop will help us.” He took Hux’s right hand and threaded their fingers.

  
He knew Brendol could call the police and try to arrest him, but he’d tell them that he’d seen Brendol stroke Hux. The mark on his friend’s face would tell the story. He shot the man a contemptuous glance, before looking back to Hux. “Hux?”

Hux shivered, his mind racing as he rolled the thought over. He had no money if he left now, he had no way to go to collage, his father would pull is savings right out from under him. Sure he had scholarships, but those weren't enough to get a degree off of. He also didn't want Poe getting hurt, or into trouble let alone put the weight of another person in Kes's home on the already tight situation. He shook his head a bit, sniffling and rubbing his noes on his sleeve. "I'm _okay_ Poe....go home, i'll...i'll talk to you at school after break okay.." He knew saying that out loud would cost him, but he didn't care. He had only a few more months till he was gone and then?...then he could spend all the time he wanted with Poe.

Poe didn’t want to leave. Everything in him balked at the idea of leaving Hux to his father’s ‘loving’ attentions. But Brendol could cause them both even more problems potentially.  
He squeezed Hux’s hand. “Are you sure? I hate to leave you here with him.” He made a face like he’d just smelled something noxious on the last word. “I don’t trust him. Will you come to our place, if he comes after you?” He knew his father would take in Hux without question if he said Brendol was hurting him. And even if it meant curbing their deeper relationship while he stayed with them, that would still be preferable to leaving him with Brendol and Maratelle. “Please, Hux, don’t let him ruin your Christmas.”

Hux took a deep breath, lifting his head to look at Poe in the eyes. "I'm okay Poe..." He smiled, a real smile knowing Poe meant every word he spoke. He felt his heart beat rise quickly as he debated, then just acted as he leaned forward and kissed Poe quickly, closing his eyes for a moment before pulling back. "Go. I'll see you after break." Brendol made a disgusted noise and cleared his throat, his temper beginning to grow as the two sat on the floor.

Poe kissed back with more than a hint of frantic, but nodded once in reluctant agreement. He stood and gave Hux a hand to pull him to his feet as well.

He turned on Brendol and said, “I’ll leave because he asked me to. Not you. You’re not worth the trouble.”

He turned his back on the man again, before fetching his present from Hux, his winter coat and his boots, forgetting his letter jacket.

“Thank you for my present, Hux,” he said, addressing his friend and completely ignoring the older man now. “This has still been one of the best Christmases ever. Cause of you.” He smiled, the look softening his face completely. “Merry Christmas, Hux.” Keeping his eyes only on his friend, he hopped out on the ledge and waved a goodbye, before shutting the window and scaling down the side of the house. With a last regretful look up, he turned on his heels and flew back toward his home.

Hux pulled to his feet as Poe lifted him, his expression a form of bittersweet as he waved lightly at the last view of Poe through the window before he disappeared.

Poe found sleep impossible that night afraid of what Brendol might do to Hux. And as soon as he heard his father rising, he hopped up and go ready for the day himself.

  
Over breakfast, he found himself blurting out everything (well, almost everything) that had happened the night before, especially the part about Brendol hitting Hux and how much he was afraid of what Brendol might do to Hux. Kes, obviously angry and not at all sanguine about what Brendol might do, did not hesitate to load them both into the truck and race over there. He headed for the front door, even as Poe hustled to scale the wall back to Hux’s room. Even as he ran over there, something felt wrong about the house. Although it was always cold and uninviting, now it felt positively barren. Empty. He scrambled up the trellis as fast as he dared and rattled the window, surprised when it opened without problem. He didn’t wait around, but hauled himself right in…to an empty room.

Everything looked exactly like he’d left it the night before, except for the closet door, which was standing open. The majority of Hux’s clothes were gone, all of his favorites that he liked to wear. Much, much worse, so were his books. “Hux,” Poe whispered and then found the name torn from his lungs at a much louder volume, “Hux!” He raced to the bedroom door and tossed it open, yelling into the house, “Hux!”

The word echoed in a mocking way through what Poe knew now to be empty halls. “Hux,” he whispered again. “No.” He turned back to the room and spotted something on the bed. Snatching it up, he found a Polaroid of Hux, taken in the snow when Poe hadn’t seen. His friend’s face was as happy as he’d ever seen, aglow from he cold and from the fun they’d had. Seeing it, the emptiness of the house felt suddenly and completely real to Poe. His friend was gone. Gone, almost certainly never to return…not if Brendol Hux had his way. And he always did.

He choked on another whispered, “Hux,” only vaguely aware of the tears tracking down his cheeks from both eyes. Another attempt brought forth a sob, and Poe found himself on his knees, in the very same place Hux had knelt only a few hours before, face pressed into his hands and the image of his friend crumpling under the force. When Kes finally found him, nearly an hour later, he knelt in the same place, rocking back and forth, all cried out.


	2. To Lay My Head On Your Lap

Hux had touched down in Main after a few plane rides to the Americas, and then a very long bus ride. He had taken holiday from his job back in London, a big decision on his shoulders that he had to think about for the future of his job and the company he worked for. But, that was what his holiday break was for, both thinking and...well _not_ thinking about it. He had already been back in Maine for about a day, though most of that had been spent sleeping to fix the jet lag and then buying himself some food to last for the next few days.

At the moment, Hux was busy doing the not thinking part of his vacation by walking around the old town that he remembered from his childhood. The memories were some of the few good ones he had, some of them fuzzy after more than 15 years, but there were a few that were crystal clear. He bustled down the sidewalk as he headed for the coffee shop, having changed owners from the previous ones who originally owned the icecream shop that sold milkshakes, sweets and greasy food.

The building looked the same on the outside, older but nothing was different than the sign, but the interior had been updated from the old 60's decor that had originally graced it's interior. He ordered his coffee, made his way to an outdoor seat along the wall and sat down. It wasn't a particularly chilly day, so he took off his winter jacket, just leaving him in the old letterman jacket he rarely ever took off. The sun however, was _bright_ , and Hux was not a fan, never was, of the bright sun so, he reached into his pocket and placed the old pair of aviators over the bridge of his nose and sat back. His mind wandered, sipping his coffee as he thought about the past, and the future.

Poe never expected to return to his hometown after abandoning his college plans at UC Berkeley to join the Air Force instead. Without Hux, who had never contacted him again after that fateful Christmas Eve, the idea of the California college lost all allure for Poe. He’d strayed to his mother’s old love, flying, and found there a recipe for one kind of heartbreak (only to end up with another). The Force treated him well, giving him a place to bury his anger and sorrow, but flying gave him back his heart. His purpose. When he was in the cockpit, nothing else in the world mattered or ever felt like it would matter again. He’d been a good, if not exceptional, student and solider in the fundamentals, but once in a plane (or a simulator), he blew everyone else away (sometimes literally).

He and whatever he flew operated as a single being, and he possessed the untrainable instinctive understanding for what other pilots and other targets (and allies) would do in every situation. Even in a technologically inferior fighter, he could outmaneuver and outthink his competition.

  
On the ground, his reputation in the sky and natural good looks attracted plenty of attention, but in that one facet, he bucked the tradition of most of his fellows. He remained single and seldom partied. Not that he didn’t have friends. His easy temper and friendly demeanor made him extremely popular, though those he disliked were as often shot down by a cutting remark as they were outdone in the air.

For all of this, Poe received the nickname of the Ice Fox. He’d planned to stay in the Force and fly as long as they allowed him, but Fate once again stepped in and wrecked up his life in a spectacular series of blazes that claimed the lives of everyone in his squadron, save himself. Two years later, banned from flying, and unwilling to stay in the Force as a grounded, former pilot, the Ice Fox shed the uniform and returned from whence he came, to a place that hadn’t been home since a Christmas fifteen long years prior. He helped Kes run his business, his Pop still going strong in his late fifties, but welcoming of a younger, stronger back. Poe rented a small apartment and socked away all his military pay, having little use for it. Frankly, he had little use for anything most days, going through the motions of life without really living.

And on this four days prior to Christmas, on an unseasonably warm day, Poe walked through the downtown, looking for a last minute gift for Finn, who had married Rey and settled down happily. They had an adorable five-year-old and the kind of life that made one’s teeth ache. Still, Poe felt a warm pleasure for them and wanted something just right for his old friend on this, Poe’s first Christmas back. He found something quite unexpected instead. The first clue was a familiar looking jacket, one he hadn’t seen since high school.

  
The second was a shock of red hair, unforgettable and unforgotten. The third was a battered and obviously loved pair of aviator sunglasses that perched on a face that Poe never dared hope to see again, for all the times he’d dreamed of it. “Hux?”

  


Hux had just finished his coffee as he heard his name ring through the air. At first he didn't react, not having expected to hear his name and thinking it just a trick of his mind, but then he gave it a second thought, knowing that maybe some of the people he had gone to school with still lived in the quaint town. He looked up to where he heard the voice and his body froze, eyes wide behind the sunglasses and hand still on the coffee. "Poe?" There before him stood a taller, more defined version of the boy he had crushed on for years as a kid, only to have that be the reason he was ripped away from the only place he had ever had friends. Poe was, for a better lack of words, downright gorgeous, his hair seeming to be windswept without trying, the tanned skin, and a lean build to boot. Hux was stunned, seeing this boy...man, standing before him having thought he would never see him again, tight fitting jeans and leather jacket setting off his figure just right. "What...are you doing in Maine?" He had no idea what to say, so...he said the first thing he could think of. How do you start conversation with someone who was literally ripped away from you?

  


Poe made a nonchalant gesture with his head, a shrug he’d perfected to shoo away many an interested young lady when he was in uniform. “I live here…now,” he said, making his way over to the table where Hux sat. “I think the better question is what are you doing here? Pop would have told me if you or any other Hux ever showed up here again. And that accent of yours is deep enough to dig the Grand Canyon, so it’s not like you’ve been hanging around the States much.” He gestured to the chair across from Hux. “Mind if I join you?” he asked, already turning the chair around to straddle it easily without waiting for an answer.  
His own uncovered eyes looked over his old friend and crush, taking in how Hux had grown even more upward without blossoming much outward to match the height. He was still pale, still thin and still aristocratic with his high cheekbones and immaculate coif.

  
But he was also wearing Poe’s old letterman jacket. “I wondered where that went. Guess I left it behind, huh? Funny, you look better in it now than I did when I was young enough to wear it.”

  


Hux's eyes seemed to track Poe, this visible from the way his head moved even if his eyes were hidden behind the glasses. His heart was fluttering, palms getting sweaty against the cup in his hand and his mouth going dry. It was like he was seeing a crush for the first time again. "Brendol he...I'm in town on vacation...I had some time off so I took it" He took a deep breath, watching Poe sit down not caring one single bit. "please sit.." He smiled lightly, sitting up in his chair. He didn't want to talk about that night just yet, not wanting to ruin this moment.

"Yea uh.." He blushed, his cheeks going pink as he tugged on the coat sleeves, an inch to short for him even though it was slightly baggy. "I couldn't have just left it..." He cleared his throat. "So...did you move back after college?" He looked down at his coffee, cheeks going even more red for a moment. "Actually...let me get you a coffee, I want another one anyway. Do you drink coffee?" He pushed up from his seat, already fishing his wallet out of the winter coat over his chair and a hand on the front door to the coffee shop.

  


Poe raised an eyebrow, used to this kind of reaction to him from his height as the coolest pilot in uniform. But it was rather amusing to see it on his old friend after all these years. “Calm down, Hux. I’m still just me. Just Poe. And yeah, I like a nice black cup of coffee. But you don’t have to rush off to get me one. They know me here. I can get one in a moment. They’ll probably have it waiting for me at the counter. I can afford to get you one, too.”  
He leaned on the back of the chair with his folded arms, curious about Hux, but willing to answer the questions about himself first.

“I came back a little less than a year ago, after I left the Air Force. I got my Bachelor’s through the Academy. Became a pilot. Mustered out just before Christmas last year.” His mouth twisted in a strange, not happy, smile. “Christmas seems to bring a lot of changes for me over the years.” “Didn’t really have anywhere to go, so I came back here. Help out Pop again. Biding time. You know how it is…or do you?”

  


Hux felt some of the tension in him go away, his shoulders relaxing as Poe seemed to have more control over his anxiety of this situation than he did. He took a deep breath as Poe spoke and moved back down to sit on his chair, wallet on the table. He was surprised to hear Poe hadn't gone to the college he had wanted, having thought Poe was so ready and he had even gotten scholarships as well. The military was not what he expected, though it did seem to fit with what he could see of Poe now, the structure and comrade of the system fit well. "Wow...you were in the military...a pilot no less.." He smiled, sitting back in his chair. He could see the slight hesitation and expression that came with some of the explaining, sensing a deeper meaning and maybe not so happy meaning.

"I...I understand what you mean...about things changing.." He let out a nervous laugh, scratching lightly at the golden peach fuzz on his chin he hadn't gotten around to shaving this morning on his way out of the hotel room. "Uhm....Brendol passed away last December....Heart attack.."

"When he took-....we moved to London, he started working at the main firm of the family company and then he.... _got_ me a job there as well...so. I have been working that ever since I turned eighteen...I studied at a local college over the next few years on a business degree I didn't want and that was that" He signed softly, his lips pulling into a frown. "This vacation was more of an escape than anything...There is some business I have to decide on and I just...dont want to think about it right now."

“So, you’re a part of the family business now,” Poe observed from that rather nervous spout of information. “You never seemed interested. Hell, you don’t seem very interested now, from the way you talk. With your old man dead, can’t you leave it behind? You must be worth some green by now. Not that I understand exactly what your family business is, but I remember the family place pretty damn well. Cost a bundle then, and it’s a fortune now.”

He huffed a soft laugh. “Guess we neither of us exactly ended up the way we planned, huh? Berkeley and all that. Seems like a million years ago. Another person’s life plan.” He looked away, face losing some hint of the impassivity that he’d perfected over the years. “A happier person,” he said softly. His eyes turned back to Hux, sharp and intense. “So, what do you think of the old place, now that you’ve come back for a gander? A lot of it seems stuck in time, doesn’t it? And a lot of it is gone. You know Finn and Rey are still here, right? They’re married and have a kid. They’re like the picture perfect happy middle class family. All the stuff the military was supposed to be fighting for.”

  


Hux sighed, feeling the animosity rolling off Poe at the mention of both his father and how their lives ended up. He understood completely. "Yea i....didn't really have any options at the time, my American passport was basically useless after Brendol got to it and I didn't have any time, or money, to get a new one.." He gave Poe a crooked, smiling frown. "I...sometimes I feel like it was a million years ago...and sometimes It feels like it was only yesterday..." He looked off to the side, having heard Poe's quiet confession of unhappiness.

"Seems like allot of things stagnated here...I mean, i never expected Maine to boom or anything, but nothing has really gotten better either." He looked back to Poe, then finally reached up and took off the aviators, setting them down on the table as he looked Poe in the eyes with his bright green ones. "I'm sorry Poe...." He bit his lip. "I didn't know what Brendol would do...I thought..." He took a deep breath, his eyes getting glassy for a moment. "a few minutes after you left...it got bad...he hit me a few more times and told me to pack my stuff, i refused and said I was going to leave....take up your offer at staying with you and he beat me down again, said he would.....call some people he knew if did leave...a veiled threat but it seemed very real as a teen."

He rung his hands together in his lap, frowning more. "...We left that night.., flew 14 hours to get to London, ripped up my passport." He looked back up to Poe, frowning. "s...sorry that...doesn't really change anything does it." He sniffed and sat up straighter, taking a deep breath as he shook off the emotions. Something he had gotten used to doing in the last fifteen years.

  


Poe waved his right hand in the air, dismissing the apology, but not as an apology, as a requirement. “You never owed me an explanation or an apology, Hux,” he said. “Whatever happened, I knew that fucker, Brendol, had engineered it all. Including your not being able to contact me. I never blamed you for any of that. I’m just surprised that now, so many years later, you’re still with the family firm. I would have expected you to break free, Hux. You always were a stubborn mule. I figured one day, you’d have given the old man and the family firm a double end kick to the face.”

He sat up straighter in his chair, arms still folded over the back. “Care to tell me why you didn’t?” His eyes fell to Hux’s nude left hand, a match for his own. He wondered if Hux had failed in dating and romance as badly as he had. The women who always surrounded the pilots never interested him, as dalliances or partners. He’d made sure not to even glance at a man the wrong way while enlisted, and now…now he wondered if he’d lost the knack completely. After losing Hux the way he had, the drive just seemed to desert him.

  
His squad joked that whatever sexual needs Poe had, his plane fulfilled them, and he supposed that was true. But they hadn’t returned when he’d left the Force, either. If anything, what remained of them withered further with the loss of his ability to fly. He envied people like Finn and Rey their strong partnerships, but never felt the desire to seek one out for himself.  
The Ice Fox. It was still a good nickname for him.

Hux seemed to wither slightly, biting at the inside of his cheek at Poe's words, knowing that he had fell over and allowed his family to walk all over him. "I...I didn't know what to do. The one thing I wanted to do in life was taken from me, the person I wanted to be with and the place that I had lived the longest and made the closest friends, was all....gone." He signed and grabbed the sunglasses again, placing them on his face again to hide his eyes. "I lost any motivation to argue....it was either end up with no where to go or...do as he said."

Hux blushed out of embarrassment, knowing he hadn't really turned out to be a strong man both physically or ...mentally. "I don't have any friends in London either....My work barely gives me time to myself and when I'm by myself.....well. I don't really care to go meet people..." He looked over at Poe, noticing the lack of ring on his finger. "London might be getting more open but there is no way to be....open. In public or in my family."

  


“And now, here we both are again,” Poe said with a little huff of a laugh. “It’s funny, in a way. You see, right now, we’re as free as we were going to be if your father hadn’t hauled you away from here and we’d graduated from high school together, like we planned.”

  
In the moment, with his old friend and crush across from him, such an unexpected and seemingly impossible reality, Poe felt a hint of the old optimism with which he used to face the world. And it was such a refreshing, such a rejuvenating, sensation that he seized it with both hands and spoke before anything could counteract the idea, the emotion. He folded his hands together and stared at them for a moment. “My mom used to say that opportunity could pop up at the most unexpected times, but most people were too blind or too foolish to see it. I don’t suppose, Hux, that you could see this as an opportunity?”

He lifted his eyes to look directly at his friend, not unused to looking into mirrored sunglasses. “A chance to try again what we plan back then? Not the college, of course. Don’t think they’d take us after this long…”. A hint of a real smile danced on his face a moment. “But a chance to start over. With where we’re going…and maybe with each other?” “What do you say, Hux? Will you take my hand this time?” He reached across the table with his right hand.

Hux felt his cheeks go hot, looking from Poe's face down to the outstretched hand that was out in front of him. This was indeed an opportunity, one that he hadn't really foreseen, though the wish and desire had been on the back of his mind the entire flight over here. He had been debating taking over the company, signing his name on the dotted line for a unforeseen long contract to running a business he never wanted and taking on the weight of those he hated. He had told himself that if there was one thing, one thing that was worth letting it all go then he would do it, but he had never expected something to actually come across that one thing. Would he and Poe even still mesh? They hadn't seen each other for almost half their life, they could be completely different people which, wasn't entirely a bad thing either.

He licked his lips and lifted a shaky hand, anxiety having racked his body through the years, but his cold hand slipped into the warm one in front of him. He fought a moments wave of emotions as his lip quivered once but he swallowed it down. Hux let out a shaky laugh. "I can't even lie to myself...i was looking for any reason to say no to them...I just hadn't expected it to end up being you.." He smiled.

Poe’s real smile appeared, but one edged with danger, even as he squeezed Hux’s hand firmly in solemn agreement. “I bet this will make your old man do barrel rolls in his grave, and I’m proud to be the one who did it to him,” he said. “And to the rest of the family that I remember you always despised. Fuck them, Hux. For good and all. Get rid of them.” He paused and gave another of the head shrugs. “And help me out for added measure. I’m not exactly the man I hoped to be, either.” He closed his eyes and tried not to dwell for too long on the truth of that statement.

  
Shoving that to the side, he beheld Hux again with a warmer gaze. “What will you need to do to detangle yourself from your family’s business? As you can tell, I’m at rather loose ends and can support you in whatever needs doing.” He leaned forward on the back of the chair again, smile even edgier. “I look at it as a chance to finally get back at your father and finally do some right by you, Hux.”

  
He paused and looked at his old friend with a curious gaze. “Is that still how you like to be addressed? Your last name? Not…Armitage?” He still held Hux’s hand in a firm, though not painful, grip.

  


Hux chuckled, biting at his lip as he nodded. "Brendol would be so upset.." He squeezed Poe's hand tighter, leaning forward more to be closer even with a table in between them. Hux wasn't the man he ever wanted to be either, so no judgement was to be had in that aspect. "I don't think either of us became the men we wanted to be, but here we are." He smiled sadly. "Hux is fine...I don't mind Armitage either but...it might take me a while to stop hearing Brendol's voice or the Maratelles squawks before I can get used to it." He chuckled.

"As far as detanglement...well.." He sighed. "I'm still contracted for my current job for another year before I have to make any final decisions on taking over the company. I can work remotely, but im contractually obligated to finish out that year." His lips pulled into a heavy frown, almost grimacing. "Brendol saw to contracted work for the family to make it harder for us to work anywhere else....well. With his death all contracts are obsolete two years afterwards." He smiled lightly at that fact. "After that, they want me to take over, I told them I would think on it but...I don't _want_ it. I never wanted it and I don't want it now. So. I just need to finish out this year and I can tell them to kiss my arse." He let out a laugh, something sounding relived as he squeezed Poe's hand.

"And." He moved his other hand to cover Poe's now holding with two. "I don't know why, but I can tell there has been some hardship in your career....But...I would do anything to help you..." He smiled softly.

Poe nodded once and said, “I want to get my wings back, Hux. I’ve got a lot of work before I convince anybody, including myself, that I’m ready for them again. Someday, I’ll tell you about it…but I’m not ready right yet. And until then…I need to find something that more than passes the time. Helping Pop is great, but I don’t want to run the business, and he’ll be ready to retire soon. He’s got some other folks who help him out, and I’m hoping one of them will carry on, so I don’t have to worry about that. If there’s some way I can help you, I’d like to. I wanted to all those years ago, and I guess I still do now.”

  
He straightened up in his chair, spine ramrod, military posture perfect. “You get yourself through your last year with your family’s business, and I work toward getting better. We support each other, the way we used to…the way we were going to. We were always better as a team anyway. And now, there’s nobody who can stop us, except ourselves. And we’ll help each other get through that.” “And now, let’s forget the coffee and go home. My dad’ll be so glad to see you, Hux. You know, he came with me that Christmas, when we found your home empty. He would’ve taken on your dad himself. He was so angry when I told him how Brendol hit you in front of me. I mean, we suspected your father might hit you, but we’d never had any proof until then. And he didn’t care about how we felt for each other.” He squeezed Hux’s hand again. “You can finally have that Christmas at the Damerons I always promised you.”

  


Hux had to take a deep breath to calm himself as Poe spoke, his emotions running high due to the situation, confessions and memories but he nodded. "Yea....yea we can help each other Poe, however we need it. We were prepared to do that before, and I'm prepared to do that now. You don't need to tell me anything you don't want to okay? I'm here to listen, or i'm here to just be here and....and I know you would do the same for me." He smiled, glad he had his sunglasses on to hide his watery eyes as he let out a slightly wet laugh. He hadn't even thought about Kes, how the man had cared about him too and how the situation might have effected him. They had gone _looking_ for him, they had found nothing and that had hurt the two Damerons.

"I...I would like that Poe....I really would." He pushed himself up out of the chair, still holding onto Poe's hand. "do...do you want me to let go?" Their town had been a small quiet town, nothing too political had ever cropped up and Hux had been gone for so long that he had no idea how the area, or let alone Poe, would feel about the public display of affection.

  


“I really could give a fuck what other people think of me, Hux,” Poe said. “If they want to judge, let them. We’re not still in the 1980s, thank fuck. And I’m ex-military, so let them get in my face. I’m not exactly scared.” He stood with their fingers tangled, looking across at Hux. “But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, either, Hux. We’re not boyfriends now.” He chuckled and said, “You were the one-night stand I didn’t want to be a one-night stand.” He tugged lightly at Hux to get him moving. “Oh, do you have a car? I took the bus and then walked around the town. So, let me see your ride, Hux?” He was curious what kind of rental Hux would choose of his own volition.

Hux blushed at the one night stand comment, but he laughed at it, understanding the sentiment. "I..I don't care. I'm tired of caring, I have done nothing but care about what other people think of me for my entire life.." He adjusted his hand and held on tighter, taking a deep breath. He knew that their teenage rutting had been fueled by their hormones and age, but he could honestly say that he felt the same as he did then about the other man, a swell of warmth in his chest every time he looked at him and a overwhelming heat where their skin touched.

"Uh...I parked just down the block." He tugged Poe back, leading them down the sidewalk away from the coffee shop, not pulling to hard but also walking with purpose. The thought of seeing Kes excited him, knowing the man was still alive and kicking compared to his own, and was the only adult male figure in his life he had ever looked up too. He walked them towards a simple four door sedan, black and seemed to have seen better days from the rental company but still holding together just fine. "I uh...didn't want to get anything to flashy....didn't want to draw any attention to myself while I was here....obvious that doesn't matter." He chuckled and looked at Poe who had recognized him the second he saw him. He finally let go of Poe's hand, though he didn't want to, in order to walk around to the drivers side and get in, waiting for Poe as he turned on the car. "So...I don't think I ever actually went to your house as a kid...." He blushed.

Poe climbed in and shut the door carefully, before glancing over at Hux, noting the blush. “No, we never could find a way to sneak you off from your parents long enough to even visit. I kept hoping, but somehow, they always scared you too much to manage it. I was pleased when I could get you to stick around with me for more than five minutes after school. You practically ran home half the time,” he said without judgement. He had more than enough proof of why Hux had always acted as he had.

  
“Just pull out and go straight for three blocks. Then take a left at the green light. We’ll go straight for awhile after that.” He leaned back in his seat and got comfortable, sprawled in a way that was indulgent.  
“You should stay with me while you’re here,” he said. “At least for the moment. I have an extra room we can clear out that’ll work. We can get a comfortable enough bed without too much trouble. And you can sleep in my bed until it arrives.”

  


Hux nodded and pulled the car out from the parking spot and started down in the direction Poe had described. Hux had been, well, very lonely for most his life and was unused to sharing his space with anyone other than his coworkers, Brendol and the unfortunate stranger who happened to get to close to him in public. But, Poe sitting in the passenger seat along side him felt so comfortable, so natural that he didn't even realize how it felt until he was sitting at the lite for a few moments before turning. He turned the left and continued down the road, glancing over at Poe, a look of surprise on his face. "Are you sure? I...I wouldn't want to intrude.." He blushed, fully okay if he had to stay at the hotel the whole time, not like he couldn't afford it. He didn't know if Poe was offering for him to stay for just his vacation time, or if it was till Hux could figure out somewhere to rent after inevitably telling the company he was going remote.

  


Poe chuckled and reached out to lightly pat Hux on the left leg. “I don’t do things by halves, Hux. I’m fully committed to this idea of working out our lives together, the way we always figured to when we were kids. That means sharing the same space, like we were going to back then. I know we’ve changed since high school, but fuck, we hadn’t lived together before we planned to head off to college, either. How about we say that we just took a bit of a hiatus in-between?” He squeezed once and moved his hand back to his own lap. “But it’s up to you, Hux. Can you stay here while you work out things with your family’s company? Or will you have to go back for awhile? Or is it all too soon to know?” He laughed again, the sound genuine, which made him laugh some more, grateful for the sensation. “I guess I am rushing you a bit, except you’ve been fifteen years too long at that damn place, haven’t you?” “Turn right at the next light. Pop’s place is still on the edge of town, just the way he likes it.”

  


Hux's cheeks went hot at the touch, though it was very much welcomed. He smiled and bit his lip, nodding lightly and chuckling. "Your not rushing be Poe, like I said before, I'm....I'm ready for this. I had been ready then and I'm ready now. Like you said, hiatus in-between." He turned right down the road. "I'll stay with you as long as you want me too, or as long as Kes can stand to have me around until I... _we_ can get something of our own if you want. I might have to fly back for a week to collect some things but otherwise....I'm basically running the company without the fancy title since Brendol passed. I can work where I want when I want, so I'll get my things and bring it all back here." "Which, don't worry, isn't too much. Never really had much or found myself collecting much _things_ in my life, I have some books and my work stuff but otherwise.....nothing much."

  


“I know my dad will be delighted to see you, Hux,” Poe said, “and he’s not going to tire of you anytime soon. But I don’t live with him, and I wouldn’t ask you to live with him, if I did. If you want, I’m happy to change apartments and live somewhere else, if you don’t like where I am now. This will be our life, not just mine or yours.” He paused and leaned against the door, finding himself smiling like an idiot. “Hux,” he said softly, “I can’t believe you’re here. Look at you. It’s like you stepped out of one of my dreams. A good dream. I still have them sometimes, you know, dreams of us going to Berkeley together. Not as often as I used to, of course…but I do. And now, here you are. Here we are. No Berkeley, but a second chance we both seem to need.” He glanced out the front window suddenly. “There we are. Second house on the left. With all the fruit trees in front. Pop always has loved his trees.” He looked back to Hux again, eyes warm. “And ridiculously, you’re as attractive as I remember you being when I was a dumb teenager. How have you managed it?”

  


Hux shook his head, "no..no i want to do this with you Poe, I have been waiting years for this and all that time I never thought I would even have this." He smiled and pulled the car over to the side of the road where he parked along the side walk, putting the car in park and turning it off. He turned to look at Poe, just taking the man in where he reclined against the door. "I had dreams too, for a long time. They made me sad however." He didn't let the moment of sadness bring him down. "I don't want to think about that though, lets just pretend everything starts here, fresh."

Hux knew they wouldn't be able to forget their past, but he knew they could allow their past to be just that, the past. Not everything would be that simple, some pains staying longer than others but it was a start, and they would start it together. "And uhm, I'm sorry but _your_ the attractive one out of the two of us." Hux laughed, putting the keys in his pocket for opening the door getting out, talking to Poe as they exited the car. "I don't know if your memory is just bad but have you _seen_ pictures of me from our teens? I am so glad puberty is over." He chuckled and closed the door. "I was all limbs, buck teeth and acne, nothing attractive about that."

  


Poe came around the front of the car to meet Hux and reached up to touch his face with warm, calloused fingers. “You’re still taller than me, dammit, though I knew that was a hopeless cause when you shot up like a redwood and I stunted like a dwarf cedar.” He snorted at his own terrible analogies, something he’d picked up from his father, comparing things to the plants he cared for. “And you were good-looking to me, Hux. The best.” He ran a thumb over his mouth, before he pulled back and caught the other man’s hand again.

“Come on, let’s go say hi to Pop.” He led Hux up a pavestone walkway to the front door of a charming two-story cottage with a thatched roof. It was one of the older houses in the town, built once as a romantic honeymoon cottage far away from the town limits of the time. Even now, the other houses hadn’t caught up completely with the cottage, as Poe still had a large garden with plenty of trees, vegetables and flowers surrounding their home. The front door opened and Kes emerged with a friendly wave that froze in mid-air at the sight of two men walking up the walk. “Hux?” he asked in an amazed tone. “Hux, is that you?” He hustled down the walkway to them, moving like a man half his age. And with the same friendly manner as his son, he gave the ginger a hug. “I’m so glad to see you, son. I’ve always wanted to see you again. Come in! Come in!”

Hux rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses, but pressed his face into the hand on his cheek for a moment before he was pulled away. "Your not that short, I'm just tall." He mused as they walked. The Dameron's home was interesting, old and well kept, the quaint and homey feel of it was refreshing compared to the old brick and concrete buildings of London or the modern glass and metal ones in the newer parts of the city. He looked up just in time to see Kes walking out and stopping, the initial confusion in his expression changing quickly to something heartwarming and surprised. Hux felt his chest tighten at seeing Kes, aged but no less capable as he was hugged tight. Hux let go of Poe's hand to hug Kes back, letting out an awkward chuckle. "Yea it's me...." He replied, almost a bit shell shocked as he was already being dragged towards the entrance by the older man.

  


Kes patted his shoulder again and said, “This calls for a drink. Champagne, I think. A celebration.” “Pop,” Poe said affectionately, “don’t overwhelm him. He’s just back.” Kes made a derisive noise. “As If champagne were some sort of terrible thing I’m afflicting on him. Really, Poe. Besides, it’s the season.” He headed into the house and for the pantry to dig out a bottle. Poe shook his head, but took Hux’s hand again. “Get ready for the third degree. But we’ll distract him with food requests. He won’t be able to help trying to feed you. You’re still built like a sign post, all up, no out.” He led Hux to the living room, which contained two comfortable easy chairs and a large sofa. He urged Hux down on the sofa and sat beside him, close, so their knees just brushed.

  
Kes emerged with a bottle and three champagne flutes. “Hux, would you like to do the honors?” he asked, handing him a bottle and a towel to Poe. “For the overflow. Do it right, Hux. Have fun.”

  


Hux looked over his shoulder to smile at Poe before turning back and following Kes. "I would love champagne Kes." he chuckled, walking up the front steps and into the house along side the older man. He stopped as they entered, taking his sunglasses off and hanging them on his shirt front as he looked around the entrance of the house, smiling at how warm and homey it felt compared to any of the houses he had ever been in before until Poe was ushering him into the living room to the couch. "It's okay. I'll handle it. I would rather all of this than....not any of it."

He smiled, blushing at the touch of their leg and the warmth of Poe's body near his. "Besides, I haven't eaten today so I'll eat anything Kes makes." When Kes walked in with the bottle he smiled more, nodding and taking the bottle from him. "So...I uhm..." He bit at his lip, feeling the overwhelming feelings that were oncoming just by realizing where he was and who he was with. "Sorry I didn't think I would end up here today....or ever..." He blinked and smiled. "I'm just...a bit overwhelmed." He turned to make sure the bottle would be near the towel Poe held, pressing on the cork to pop it. The bottle popped hard and he flinched slightly at the sound but smiled as the foam bubbled over.

  


Poe gave a shout of delight at the pop and fizz, before moving to catch and then clean up the foam and liquid. “That was a good one, Hux.” Kes held out the flutes for Hux to fill. “Give us each a good swig, Hux. And then, since I’m sure I just heard you say that you haven’t eaten all day, I’m heating up some of my green Chile stew for you. No objections. You’re eating at least a bowl and hopefully, two. You’re still too skinny, son.”

  
Poe winked at Hux, having mopped up the overflow. “That’s what I’ve been telling him, Pop. He doesn’t look much different than he did when I last saw him. Except, of course, that he’s even taller, damn him.” Kes, who had several inches on his son, laughed at the disgruntled expression on Poe’s face. “You do seem to have put all your energy in growing upward, Hux,” he observed.

  


Hux shook his head and smiled, pouring out the champagne for the three of them. "I tried to gain weight over the years, i did. But I mostly sustain myself on coffee." He knew his eating habits were not great, but at least he knew that would most likely change with Poe in the picture. "Besides. I like your height Poe." He winked and smiled softly at the man next to him. "Your bulk makes up for it anyway." He lifted the champagne glass towards the two. "I uhm...like i said, i hadn't expected to end up here of all places when I came back but....there isn't a place I would rather end up more."

  


“Sustaining yourself on coffee, I can see that,” Poe said with a shake of his head. “I guess that’s what I caught you at this morning, as well. Along with the stew, Pop, you best give him some tortillas, as well. I know you made a fresh batch this morning. I guess I don’t need any…given my bulk.” He shot a playful look at Hux. “Though I’m hoping that was meant in the nicest possible way.” “Consider it done,” Kes said, before he nodded a thank you to Hux for the pour. He held up his glass to the other two and said, “To old friends.” Poe raised his glass to agree with the toast and added, “And renewed ones.”  
The both looked to Hux for his contribution.

  


Hux blushed, Poe having caught him in his morning routine of at least 3 coffees before he even had an ounce of lunch. "I meant it in the only way which is the nicest." He chuckled. "Bulk is a good thing, something i'm lacking but i can only appreciate on you." He winked at Poe. He looked between the two men holding out their glasses in toast, his mind wandering to memories both good and bad before he smiled softly and held his glass up. "To finally getting on course, no matter how lost or long it took to get there.."

  


“Hear, hear,” Kes cheered even though that was not a toast that necessarily applied to him. But it did apply to his son and he was certain, to his old friend. And even now, after all these years, he could see the attraction between the pair. And he cheered that, too, feeling his son needed not to be alone anymore. Poe’s lack of interest in any kind of life partner had long worried his father. “To the future,” Poe agreed, as well, tapping his glass to the other mens’. He took a small sip and made a pleased noise.

“This is one of the better bottles.” “This is a worthy occasion,” Kes said seriously and took a sip of his own champagne. “And now, I’ll let you two catch up while I put together some lunch. Poe, you’ll be having some, too?” “I never miss out on your stew, Pop,” Poe said. “Good. Take a seat. I’ll be back in a few. Drink more champagne.” Poe sat again with a grin at Hux. “So, do you still own that old pile you lived in when you were here?”

  


Hux tapped his glass and smiled as he took a drink, savoring the flavor of the first glass of champagne he had drank that ever felt like it was really celebrating something. He had gone to business parties and family holidays many times over his years, toasting to new business ventures and babies of family members he had never met, but those felt so empty. This however? This was new life circumstance was something to celebrate. He watched Kes leave from the living room and settled back onto the couch where he had Poe sat, turning just slightly so he was angled to look at the other man to talk. "What...the mansion? I mean...I wouldn't call it a mansion these days, I have seen modern houses bigger than that one...but i don't know. I'm sure Brendol sold it after we left, put it up for auction or something...why? did no one buy it?"

“Not as far as I know,” Poe said. “I think it’s sitting there empty still. And it will always be a mansion to me, Hux. The way it was when I was a kid. It’s a mansion compared to our house…though not a home, like this place is. I thought your dad kept it for some strange, twisted motive of his own.” He took another sip of his champagne.

  
“When you need to go back to England to face your relatives, I’ll go with you if I can and if you want me to,” he said. “Maybe some good can even come of it. We can do some touring. You can show me around. I’ve always wanted to see England. And if I still know you, I bet you can rattle off half of the history for me without looking it up.” He bumped their knees together deliberately again.

  


Hux hummed in thought, his eyebrows furrowing. "Weird...maybe no one bought it?" He shook his head a bit and took another sip. He switched his legs, uncrossing them and crossing them the other way, their knees brushing as he did so. "I would like that Poe..." He smiled, resting the glass in his lap with one hand, the other running through his hair to push it back. "I'll get my things after the vacation, stay just long enough to grab what i need and come back..."

He thought, knowing that he wouldn't be able to bring everything, but that was fine, he could get new basics. "And come next year, hopefully we can...i dont know...have something else figured out and ready." He felt giddy, the idea that he was _really_ going to go through with cutting the ties, removing himself from the family he never belonged in or was wanted in. "They only want me to take over the company because I know the inner workings better than them....otherwise they just....leech off the hard work of others.." He said spitefully, taking another drink.

"But...let me stop that..." He smiled, looking back at Poe. He didn't know what to ask him, knowing that there was something painful hidden in his old friend's memories from the last fifteen years, but at the same time he wanted to learn about him, know who he had become. "You mentioned you flew, and that you wanted to continue to fly given enough time....what sort of flying did you want to work towards?" He figured he would gear it to thoughts of the future, no bad memories or proverbial mental landmines to stumble upon that way.

  


“I’d like to be able to make my living flying,” Poe said. “Nothing fancy. I don’t need to be the pilot at some big airline. Commercial would be fine. But just knowing I can pilot again…that would mean the world to me, Hux. Not only because I love being in the cockpit of a plane, flying in the blue, but also because it would mean I got over all the crap that’s held me back these past few years.” He let out a low, pained huff. “That maybe I don’t have nightmares as often or feel so crap all the time.” He looked away from the other man, eyes lowered toward the ground. “I didn’t mean to bring your big moment down…I won’t. We’ll have time to discuss me later, Hux.”

  
He finished his champagne and set it aside for the moment, turning to face his old friend fully. “But thank you for asking. For caring. Pop does, of course, but I don’t want to being him down. And the only others who understand mostly suffer from the same problems I do. And as helpful as it is to discuss my problems with other people with problems and of course, a psychiatrist, having someone uninvolved who can be a part of my support network, as I can be a part of yours.”

  
Reaching out a hand to Hux, he said, “But not today. Today is for celebrating both of us, being together. It means the world to me. I had no idea it would until I recognized that shock of ginger hair.”

  


Hux listened intently as Poe spoke, imagining Poe behind the controls of the cockpit, uniform on and everything and how handsome he would be and, already was. He frowned a the moments of sadness in Poe's voice, the quick change of subject. He wouldn't push further, respecting Poe's desire to just focus on the now. The two of them had their own brand of issues to deal with, and it would take time, but Poe was right, today was special. "Yea...your right." He reached out to take Poe's outstretched hand, the warmth of the skin always something that seemed to shock him before he settled into the feeling. Hux had always been cold, physically and somewhat emotionally, but around Poe? He melted, the man always having had a way of warming him. "At first, when you called out to me I thought I was hearing things." he chuckled.

"Thought, maybe the jet lag hadn't worn off yet. But, i'm glad it was you...." He took another sip from his drink, looking down at his lap. "I took this vacation with the intent to find something to run away too...I told myself, that if there was any small reason to leave the family I would take it. I was afraid I wouldn't find a reason and I would go back to London with my tail tucked between my legs and giving in all over again...." He took a deep breath and looked back up. "I'm tired of giving in. Brendol isn't here anymore so...I'm not going to let him rule me from the grave too."

“I thought I was seeing things for a moment myself,” Poe admitted. “I’ve thought so many times of Berkeley and all the plans we had. Of that last night we saw each other, which we never knew was going to be our last night. But there you were, that same shock of red hair I knew so well, drinking some of the cafe’s crap coffee.” He laughed a little at the memory of the moment- both shock and delight coursing through him when he realized that what and who he was seeing really existed.

  
Poe took the bottle and poured himself some more champagne, before topping off Hux’s flute. He lifted his glass to engage him in another toast. “To finding each other again. And to finding our way again.” He offered the glass to Hux to clink against and wondered if he’d offer another toast, too.

Hux smiles softly at Poe's description of seeing him again, regardless of how it had only been a few hours since then. At this point, being alone for the last fifteen years felt as though they were the past already, the possibilities for the two of them coming in the forms of hopes and ideas, plans unspoken and expressions they gave each other. He let out a laugh and nodded at the crap coffee part, lifting his own glass near Poe's. "To never letting _anyone_ tell us where we take our life." He clinked his with Poe's, feeling as thought they were making a vow in life together, which he wouldn't be unhappy with.

  


Poe polished off the glass of champagne and set the flute down again, intending to hold off on having more, at least until they’d eaten. He leaned back against the sofa and looked around the living room with a fond smile. “At least I’ve never had to worry about that with Pop. He’s let me trod my own path, even though I know he worries about me a lot. And now that your dad is gone, you’ve a clear field, too.”

He frowned a little and asked, “I am right about that, aren’t I? I don’t remember you talking much about the rest of your family, except your step-mom, of course. I take it she’s still as charming as ever.” He rolled his warm brown eyes extravagantly. “I always thought she could turn people to stone, like Medusa, if she wanted. And the way she looked at me…like I was some sort of strange, unwashed frog that happens to show up on her doorstep now and then.” He laughed at the memory, not at all offended, since he had always cared less about her and Brendol. Hux was the only one who mattered. And as Poe looked back to him, his eyes warmed even more, delight filling them as he regarded his friend.

  


Hux followed suit with his champagne, finishing the glass before setting it on the coffee table in front of himself and getting comfortable on the couch. He looked about the living room as Poe spoke, taking in the details of a place that most likely looked somewhat similar to what it might have looked like back when they were kids. "I'm...as clear as I can be. Maratelle has no say on any of the matters regarding business as Brendol made her sign a prenup before they got married.

The rest of Brendols family have stocks in the business, so their mindset is to either have me run it while they reap the profits, or buy the share that got passed down to me." He huffed in a slight amusement. "Brendol didn't even want it to go to me, but i'm his only kid, and as far as the family cares, thats all that matters. I can't tell you why they have it that way, no one else liked Brendol either but, apparently it was some great great grandparent's rules or something." He signed heavily. "But, due to recent updates to local laws and such, plus the "you can't make people work somewhere they dont want to" environment we live in today, after one year in the position I can willfully let it go." He smiled at that, looking back to Poe.

"Only reason I was even stuck with that much is because I stupidly signed something after turning 18 when we moved back. I was just...scared so I had no idea what I was signing." He shook his head lightly, running his fingers through his hair. "Maratelle will be pissed of course because that mean's she will only get a yearly stipend from Brendol's retirement. She will probably cuss and scream but I have been looking for a reason to tell her _no_ my whole life." He smirked at that bit.

“I’m more than happy to be part of you saying no to that woman,” Poe said. “I’d really enjoy going in person to see you do it, if I can. Especially to see her face when she realizes it’s me. Did she ever know about us, Hux? Did your father ever tell her?” He could only imagine her face if she was aware of that part of their history as well. “I’d really love to give you a good snog in front of her. All out with tongue and groping and everything. Just stick it to her.” He laughed at the ceiling and darted a glance at his old friend.

“I guess that’s not very in the spirit of the season of me, but that would be an amazing gift as far as I’m concerned.” “I hope you got a good chunk of change when your dad kicked it, too,” he said. “You deserve it after having to deal with him for so much of your life. That fucker took so much from you, Hux. Only fair you should get hazard pay for it all.” A sudden smile blossomed on his face. “Let’s go break into your old home. Make snow angels. Build another snow cat. Climb up into your old room. What do you say?”

  


Hux smiled at the thought of doing all those things in front of Maratelle, the look on her face would be priceless and he honestly didn't think that it was something they couldn't do. "She doesn't know." Hux frowned slightly. "Brendol told me he would...." An intense look of momentary sadness washed over his face as he seemed to remember something before wiping it from his expression. "He told me not to tell anyone, especially her. She liked to gossip." He signed. "But yea, I did. I have been saving my money for years too."

He smiled at Poe, then glanced at the doorway where he knew Kes has disappeared through. "I have more than enough to love comfortably, and more than enough to help out." He knew Kes would most likely never accept an offer of monetary value, but he also knew there were always ways of giving back that didn't look like handouts. He toiled over the idea of going to his old childhood home, a place that held both bad and good memories. He finally nodded, deciding that it would be good for him to experience it. "yea. After we eat let's go. I wanna see what happened to it."

  


“If you’re curious, we could probably find out if it’s still yours anyway. I mean, I never heard it got sold. And it would still be in the Hux family name. Either yours or your stepmother’s, and she’s not here to object. I don’t even think half of the things in it were cleaned out.” Poe reached out and touched the jacket Hux still wore. “But I see that you made sure to take this…aren’t you getting a little warm in that now?” “I never suspected that you’d taken it, though it seems to so obvious now,” he said, voice and expression soft and a tad melancholy at the idea. “I guess I rushed out of there so fast I left it behind, huh? But I still have your gift to me. I never used it. I couldn’t bring myself to…but maybe I should now.

My psychiatrist says a journal of some sort to record how I feel might help me. What would you think to my using your old gift to me that way? I know where it is…I’ve always made sure to keep it somewhere close. It has the polaroid you left in it, too.” He reached out to squeeze Hux’s knee once, the touch familiar and warm, without being more in the moment. “Maybe you could take some time off, Hux. Just chill and try to decide what you want to do next without any pressure.”

  


Hux hadn't even thought of the idea that the house could potentially still have been owned by Brendol, the idea that the man had continued to pay on the mortgage was almost funny. "If it is, then he must have forgotten he was paying on it. Then again, the mortgage payments would be pennies compared to what it would be worth now." He got a thoughtful look but then shook the thought from his mind as it was a later Hux problem. He frowned at the thought of Poe needing a psychiatrist, remembering that there was something that the other man had gone through to need one, even if he didn't know what it was.

"It's yours Poe, I got it for you to use as you pleased. If it helps by writing in it as a journal, then use it as such. Hell, if doodling in it makes you feel better than please do so." He smiled warmly. His cheeks went warm at Poe bringing up the jacket again, one hand tightening the thing around himself just a bit tighter unconsciously. "I uh... obviously still have my gift." He chuckled, adjusting the sunglasses on the front of his shirt. "but. I saw the jacket when grabbing some of my laundry to pack and....I couldn't leave it. It.." he blushed harder. "it smelled like you. I hid it in my bag and didn't wear it for months....I would just take it out and..."

He bit his lip, feeling embarrassed. "I would just cry...for loosing everything. You, my home, the few friends I had.." he smiled and sighed. "But it's fine and I'm here now. Time off is basically what I'm doing. I have more time saved up, well....I can technically take as much time as I want but the contract is based of time worked so. But yes....that would be good for me.....and hopefully you too."

  


But Poe was not one to just dismiss Hux’s pain, even if it was an older pain. He’d always worried for his friend, but to hear him admit he’d cried over losing Poe and his friendship… He straightened up and wrapped his arms around Hux’s thin frame, pulling him in for a hug and pushing his face into the curve of his neck.

  
“I cried, too,” he admitted freely. “Finding you gone…that was one of the worst days of my life, Hux. Especially after losing mom. Just to lose you, too. I was a miserable bastard the rest of senior year. Nothing could please me. I nearly tanked my grades, especially without you to help me through Econ.” He hugged Hux a moment longer and pulled back. “Two bowls of green chile stew coming!” Kes called from the kitchen and emerged with a tray for Hux containing a huge bowl of stew, a glass of milk and three piping hot tortillas. “I’ll get yours next, Poe.” He set the tray in front of Hux. “I expect you to et that all, son. Put some meat on your bones.”

  


Hux hadn't been expecting the hug, his body stiffening for just a moment before he relaxed into it, bringing his arms up to hold Poe back. Hux had never been accustomed to physical touch like Poe was, hugs and platonic touch weren't common in his life both young and now old. It saddened him to know Poe had troubles becuase of his leaving, to know that Poe struggled. "I should have accepted.." He mumbled into Poe's hair, holding him until they pulled away, Kes's footsteps nearing. He smiled at the older man as he set the food down in front of him, the smell of it hitting his nose and the memories of eating with Poe and Kes in the backyard came rushing back. "Thank you Kes, I'll do my best to finish it." He chuckled.

  


“Thanks, Pop,” Poe said fondly and looked over all of the food on Hux’s plate. “You’ve really thrown down the gauntlet for poor Hux.” “I remember how he ate when I fed him,” Kes said proudly. “He’s got a good appetite for good food. And I’m sure he’ll remember that when he takes his first bite.” He nodded once firmly and left to fetch Poe’s portion, as well. “I hope he’s right, Hux,” Poe said with a bit of a dubious look over the large portion. “You really do have your work cut out for you…though Pop’s cooking has only improved with age. He’s perfected this stew. And wait until you try his empanadas.” He made a chef’s kiss and then rearranged himself to accept the tray as Kes returned again.

  
“I’ll be in the garden if either of you need me. Eat your lunch.” Kes ordered them both as if they were the young boys of the past, and not grown men.

  


Hux looked at the pile of food with a bit of a worried look, knowing his appetite only got worse and worse over the years. But told Kes he would do his best before he walked off. "I should eat more, I know I'm bad at remembering." He grimaced lightly, remembering the last physical he had, his doctor scolding him for his weight. He grabbed the stew and ladled a spoonful into his mouth, letting out a deep groan of satisfaction. It was good, better than he remembered and it was _definitely_ worth every bite. "your right. He has gotten better." He mumbled through a bite as he leaned back and kept eating.

“Just take it slow,” Poe counseled with a light laugh and a continued grin. He felt like he hadn’t smiled or laughed this much in years. A weight that had settled on his chest long ago had fallen away, and he realized just how much he’d worried about the boy who’d been stolen away on Christmas. It was a profound relief to get to see him again, know he maybe had not been happy for all these years, but he had managed to pull through them anyway. Hot prickles sparked in the back of Poe’s eyes, and he ducked his head to fight them.

Now was not the time to let his emotions get away from him. When he felt more on top of his emotions, he looked back to Hux with a soft smile. “I don’t know how he does it. Every year he finds some way to improve even the most basic of his recipes. I have begun to learn them from him again, but I don’t think I’ll ever have his ability to know how to make them better organically.” He began to eat his own, slowly, but steadily. “How about we walk over to your old place? We can go the way I used to go, if it’s still open. I can show you how I used to sneak in to see you.” He reached out with one foot to lightly touch his toes to Hux’s nearest foot. The contact was slight, but made him relax a little more into the cushions.

Hux chuckled and slowed down ever so slightly and enjoyed his meal as he zoned off lightly. They fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments until Poe spoke up again, looking over to listen. He noticed the slightly glassy look of Poe's eyes but didn't bring it up, not wanting to upset the man further. "Your food may never end up tasting _exactly_ like his, but isn't that the neat part?" Hux smiled, settling into the couch more as he ate, letting his legs open more to allow their legs to touch more.

"It's a skill that is mastered, or perfected in it's own way. No two people can make something the same way and in the end it makes it special for each person. That's the special part, that it was theirs." He looked over, smiling more. "I'm sure yours is good, and if I have _your_ cooking, then I want _your_ cooking." He polished off the bowl and set it down in front of him on the table before grabbing the other things to munch on. "And that works for me. I'm warm enough and if someone gets the wrong idea about what we are doing I _really_ don't want that linked back to the rental car." He chuckled.

  


“I’ll cook for you, Hux,” Poe promised. “And keep house, too, if you like. While I get back on my feet, I might not be good for much else, not really. Maybe some kind of part-time job doing maintenance on vehicles or planes. I’m decent at that. And I’ve worked on some pretty advanced stuff in my time.” He paused and looked into the distance at nothing for a moment, before he shook himself out of it. “Anyway, if we’re going to be roommates, I want to do my share. And you’ll definitely have the lion’s share of the work.” He polished off his stew and slowly stood to stretch out his limbs. “Want anything more, Hux? I bet there’s seconds.” He was teasing, knowing his dad had given Hux seconds in his first helping. “There might even be some dessert. Knowing Pop, there’s probably something.” “Do you have some boots for the walk and the climb? Maybe back where you’re staying? We can grab your stuff and take it back to my place before we go. If you want…”

  


Hux smiled at the prospect of getting to eat Poe's cooking, never having done so before, but if he knew Kes, Poe would have been taught by the best. "We can talk all that boring crap later." He chuckled and stood up, grabbing the empty plates into his hands. "Knowing Kes, or at least from what I remember, He will have leftovers. I don't think I'll be able to eat another bite for at least a good few hours." Hux walked as he talked, taking the empty dishes to the next room over which was the kitchen. "Thank you Kes." He set the empty dishes in the sink before turning back to look at Poe. "We are uh...gonna go reminisce for a bit and i still have some jetlagg left over from yesterday." He made his way back to Poe. "Also...there isn't really anything to grab...I didn't pack anything as I wasn't sure if I was staying or not.." His cheeks flushed.

  


Poe rinsed out his own bowl and cup and tossed the napkin in the small hamper near the sink. He gave Hux a concerned look, taking in his posted and paleness even more closely. “We can hold off on the nostalgia for the moment. Get what little you do have and move it to my place. Get you settled in and rested up. Make you some tea to replace the coffee I stole from you. I remember you used to prefer that to coffee, and if it’s herbal, it won’t keep you from sleeping. Your old house will still be there tomorrow…and so will we. For the rest of today, we can get you settled and rested up. And maybe you can even find one good thing to tell me about your time in England. There must have been something you liked.” He patted Hux on the right shoulder and headed for their coats. “And if you didn’t bring them, we’ll buy you a pair of boots. I need to find you a Christmas present, too. Now that you’re here to celebrate with us. Pop will have something. I don’t know how he does it. But this year, you’re celebrating Christmas with the Damerons.”

  


Hux frowned for a moment but then he nodded, the idea of relaxing after a good meal with a good friend sounded great at the moment and adventuring could wait. "alright alright. It's not far and I can check out of the room today then." He smiled and turned to Kes. "Thank you for the food. I am _most_ positive I will see you soon." He chuckled and shrugged his coat on, the big "D" on the front was worn and tattered but Hux had kept the jacket in as good condition as he could. The mention of spending Christmas with them made him stop for brief moment, his breath getting caught in his throat until he cleared it and smiled, not letting himself get emotional. "Yea...yea i would like that."

  


“It’s a good thing you like the idea,” Kes piped up cheerfully. “After all those years of you not being able to come when you and Poe were kids, you’re not missing out now. We’ll do presents, carols, a huge dinner, all of the good things. I’ll drag out a sweater for you to wear.” “Pop,” Poe groaned, but there was laughter in it. “Not an official Dameron Christmas without the sweaters,” Kes said. “And some mulled cider. I’ll have a huge pot of that for us to drink all day.”

“We’ll be swazzled by noon,” Poe predicted and laughed as his father smacked his right arm. He bumped lightly into Hux and added, “We’ll be glad to have you, Hux. You’ve always been welcome, since you became my best friend.” He opened the door for Hux to exit and said, “I’ll call later, Pop. I may want your recipe for enchiladas.” “And we’ll talk Christmas,” Kes said firmly. “Good to see you, Hux. I’m so glad you’re back.”

  


Hux chuckled at all the back and forth, his cheeks going red as he listened. He was overwhelmed, in a good way, at the prospect of doing all these things. Hux knew that no matter how ridiculous or embarrassing whatever they would do together, he would still do it. "See you later Kes, I'm....I'm glad to be back." With that he left the house with Poe, driving them over to his crappy hotel where they grabbed his small bag of mainly underclothes and a few extra pairs of pants and shirts and checked out. He let Poe guide him to where he lived, stopping off at the local gas station to grab some beer before they finally made it to Poe's place. He stepped out of the car and waited for Poe before they headed inside. "So. I don't think we ever just had time to...relax together growing up." He laughed sadly at that fact.

Poe didn’t comment on the cheap lodgings, though he wondered why on earth Hux had chosen them when he knew damn well he could afford something nicer. But it did help him feel better about taking Hux to his own apartment, which was not exactly a townhouse. It was two bedrooms, with a small kitchen paired with a living room and a single bath. The place was neat and tidy, but hardly luxurious, and the furniture was worn, obviously having been well used through the years. Still, it was comfortable and all Poe needed. He took Hux’s bag for him in one hand and secured his free hand in the other and led him toward the apartment. “So, this is home for the moment. Just a small place on my own while I figure things out. I don’t think I want to stay in the state forever. I’ve lived all over the world now, and I think I’d prefer somewhere a little warmer a lot more of the year.” He began to climb a set of stairs. “No elevator to my place.”

“And no, we never relaxed together except during lunch at school. And not even then. You were always wound tighter than a drum cause of your dad. And after school, I had a one in fifteen shot of getting you to even linger for five minutes. You usually sprinted home like the hounds of hell were chasing you.” He shook his head and laughed lightly. “Your father was a right fucker. I’m glad you’re free of him.” He released Hux’s hand reluctantly to open the door to his apartment and usher him inside. “This way to your room.” He led him down the short hall to a small room with a bed, a couple of small chests of drawers, a tiny closet and a window that let in all of the sun. “We’ll get new bedding for you. What do you think? Will it do for now?”

Hux blushed as Poe took his hand but said nothing, following Poe in and up the steps. "I wouldn't mind somewhere warmer, after living in Maine and England I can tell you I yearn for some sunlight." He chuckled and waited for Poe to open the door before walking in. He set the six pack down on the ground near the door and followed Poe down the hall and into the room. "This is....more than enough Poe..." He smiled, taking a slightly deep breath as the air in the apartment had a distinct _Poe_ smell. "Now. Let's get to the relaxing part-" He yawned slightly, covering hismouth for a moment. "before we get to the logistics of it. I think logistics all day at work, the last thing i want to do is think those when I could be spending time with you."

  


“I think it’s more time for you to be laying down for your nap,” Poe said with a snort. “You’re half-asleep on your feet, Hux. And I bet you could use a shower, too. The water pressure’s not amazing, but there’s plenty of hot water. Get a shower. Take a nap. We can talk more when you’re out. We do have fifteen years to catch up on…even if there are some damn landmines we’re gonna be navigating.” He chucked Hux affectionately under the chin, even though he had to reach up to do so. “Welcome home, Hux. It’s so good to have you back. I’ll be in the front room if you need anything. But you’re welcome to use anything except my toothbrush.” He found himself winking playfully and smiling again, still feeling lighter than he had in a long time.

  


Hux blushed at the touch and nodded, watching Poe walk away into the living room. He grabbed a change of clothes from his bag and helped himself in Poe's bathroom, taking his time to not necessarily investigate everything, but idle as he took in all the details of Poe's....every day life. He noted the color of the towels he had, the brand of soaps he chose and the tidiness of the bathroom. Poe had been right about the water pressure, having stripped down and folded his clothes on the sink as he stood in the fairly short, old shower, having to duck in order to get his hair wet.

He washed himself using Poe's soaps, enjoying being surrounded by the smells until he was done and toweled down dry. He walked out into the living room where Poe was after his shower, dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a heavy sweater, his hair not completely dry but dry enough not to drip water everywhere. "Uhm...room for two?" He looked down at were Poe sat, smiling. He knew Poe wanted him to rest up, but what a better way to do that then near someone he trusted?

Poe looked up from where he’d mostly been spacing out and scooted over on the sofa. “Sure, take a seat. I wasn’t really watching this game anyway.” He turned off the soccer and turned to look at his friend again. “Looks like the shower did you good. There’s some more color in you. Never knew how a guy could be so pale all the time.” His smile indicated his teasing, which he’d done frequently to Hux in their youth, but never in a cruel way. “I never was sure why I decided to get a two bedroom, but I guess I knew somehow that there’d be someone to fill it someday. And here you are. Had no idea it would be you…I stopped imagining that a few years after I joined the Force. It was a good place to escape all of the things I’d imagined doing with you. After all, it was completely different from anything I thought or planned…and that was one of the reasons I chose it.”

Hux moved around the couch and sat down next to Poe, getting comfortable. It was smaller, so they were pushed together closer which Hux didn't mind, their shoulders and legs touching side to side. "Heh...Well I'm naturally pale and that never really changed, but a lack of sunlight doesn't really help does it." He spoke softly, his hand picking idly at his sweatpants. "I never stopped thinking about it....us, what we were hoping to do." He frowned, sighing softly.

"It was hard for me to, I never had anything else to help forget I just...had a void. Work kept me busy enough sure but...no amount of all nighters really helped." He moved his hand, idly picking a stray string of Poe's pants before he let his hand rest there. "I don't sleep well...never have." He chucked however, yawning right after saying that. "well...I think i don't sleep well alone at least.." He bit his lip, looking at Poe. "can....I take a nap here? just...something short.." He was asking Poe if he could lay down on his lap without having to ask, or at least hoping Poe understood what he meant.

Poe frowned in concerned sympathy at his old friend’s words and said, “You’re welcome to sleep anywhere you want, Hux.” He gestured for him to come closer. “Just…whatever you need.” He wondered if Hux had slept with other people before, given his words. But that didn’t seem right. It was more like he was saying that he’d never slept well in his life. And that just…hurt. It hurt to think of Hux suffering like that all the time. “Did you want to share a room?” he asked. “I haven’t slept with anyone in a long time, but I don’t kick or thrash or snore…that I know of. And if you need someone to sleep better, I’m okay with that. We’ll definitely need to get a bigger bed, given how long you are, but…it’ll be okay for a few days at least. After I clean up the place a bit.” Poe tended to just toss his clothes on the floor half the time, his messiest characteristic.

Hux blushed as Poe seemed to get more attentive towards him, the caring aspect of the man's personality coming out two fold as he offered not only a lap to sleep on, but his own room and bed. He bit at his lip and thought for a moment, wondering if he was pushing the man to much. Poe was very giving, and he didn't want to take to much regardless how much he offered. "For now I can use the guest room no problem, I don't want to intrude.." He moved to where he was laying down on the couch, his legs pulled up and hanging slightly off the side of the couch as his long limbs didn't really fit all the way even curled up as he was, then placed his head on Poe's leg. They had done this once before, a long time ago before they even realized they liked each other.

Hux had been up all night once studying for their 9th grade midterms, afraid he was going to get even a B on anything. He had been so tired during lunch that Poe had let him rest his head on his leg while he took a quick nap on the lunch bench. He let out a sigh, the stress in his body leaving fairly quickly as the memory passed his mind. "Remember when you let me do this at lunch.." He smiled at the memory, remembering how his hair had been mussed up and he had a red patch on the side of his cheek from sleeping so hard for that short 45 minutes.

“Hux, you’re not intruding,” Poe assured, even as he lightly snagged Hux to urge him up to rest his head on his more comfortable lap. He slid a hand into Hux’s hair and stroked through the red locks, massaging his scalp. “I wouldn’t have invited you if you weren’t welcome. Not to my apartment and definitely not to my bed. I know it’s a lot for someone you haven’t seen in fifteen years, but…it doesn’t feel like that long to me. Not when I’m with you.”

  
He chuckled at the memory and said, “Like that memory. It seems fresh, like it was something that happened last week. I remember how you just went boneless on my leg, cheek pressed into the seam of my pants. You were so cute, and I wanted to just let you sleep for the rest of the day. You never looked like you got enough sleep, except when your dad was away, but that was the only time you were a virtual zombie. Unfortunately, we weren’t sitting in a spot where we could hide from people…so I had to get you up for your next class. But it was nice lunch period. I came so close several other times to offering to let you sleep in my lap again, when you looked exhausted, but I didn’t want to presume. I was chickenshit.”

Hux got comfortable, his head now resting on Poe's lap, the heat already spreading through him where they were pressed together. The hand in his hair made his eyes flutter, a shiver running now his spine at the touch. Hux didn't get much physical touch, not in any romantic or loving capacity anyway. He had handshakes and pats on the shoulder, the occasional hug from a female coworker, but that was about it. His stepmother didn't like him, his father didn't even so much as give him a hug and...well, he didn't really s

earch out for physical partners either. "I-" Hux yawned, covering his mouth with his hand before resting it on Poe's leg as well next to his face. "I can remember thinking how close I was to your crotch before falling asleep." He chuckled sleepily, his cheeks red at admitting such things but, it's not like they hadn't confessed their love for each other and got each other off through grinding. "That was helpful though, that day. I had wanted to ask again on some days but...like you I was also, as you call it, chickenshit." He smiled warmly, his eyes closing as he enjoyed the hand in his hair, yawning again. "If....if you ever need something like this...please ask....whether its my head in your lap or...your head in mine." His voice trailed off, sounding he was saying something else but it was too mumbled. After a few moments his breathing evened out, head heavy on Poe's lap where he now napped.

Poe looked down at the sleeping Hux with a soft expression, eyes warm. He kept stroking his hair softly and let himself zone into a pleasant haze of enjoying being close to another person, to his old friend. For the moment, everything else faded away and all that mattered lay on his lap, snuggled close to him.

  
“I’ve missed you so much, my friend,” he murmured to the sleeping man. “I didn’t even know how much until I saw you. I guess I loved you even more than I knew.”

  
He settled contentedly against the end of the sofa and continued to just gently caress Hux’s hair and scalp. Eventually, he dozed off, too, warm and happy.


	3. To Feel Your Hands On Me

Hux's and Poe's feet crunched through the thick snow that had fallen through the day, Christmas eve was upon them and the pair had taken a day of rest previously after waking up, stiff necked from their nap turned full blown sleep on the couch. They had decided that today was the day they would go and visit Hux's old house, or mansion really, though there were much larger homes build in the area now, the Hux's house would still be quite large for the neighborhood.

Hux had driven the two of them a few blocks near the old house before they walked the rest of the way through nightfall, the sidewalks having already been cleared and the old streetlamps lighting their way as they walked. Hux held a small bottle of some rum in his jacket, the two wanting to toast to just anything while they explored seeing as this would be one final hurrah to the memory of Brendol Hux the tyrant father. He followed Poe through the back of the yard, lifting his feet high to avoid tripping in the tall snow. "How did you do this every time." He mumbled as he followed, looking up at the dark window that used to be his old bedroom.

Poe looked back at Hux with a huge grin and said, “You just never got out enough in the snow to get used to it, Hux. I can’t imagine that you frolicked through the snows of London, either.” He got to the fence surrounding the mansion and gardens and located the loose board he used to get into the grounds without difficulty. “It’s still here!” He beamed at his friend and said, “Now, I’m sure this is still a Hux property. Not even the fence has been fixed in fifteen years.” He pushed the board to the side and ushered Hux into the grounds, following right after.

“Now for the real fun part. This is when I’d scale the trellis to your window. Do you think you can make it?” He took Hux’s right hand and led him effortlessly through the overgrown yard, which had gotten out of control since the Hux’s left and fired their gardener in the doing. “Man, Pop would be so sad about how everything was just let go. He worked so hard on these gardens.” He snaked through the bushes and to the side of the house, looking at the trellis that still went up the side of the wall. “I wonder if it will still hold my weight. Shall I find out?”

Hux chuckled and followed Poe, stepping over the broken fencing and onto the grounds with the other man as they trampled through the overgrown yard. "Look, it mostly rains in London okay. There is no sunlight, and the snow is rare. Besides, in the city it gets plowed quickly." He looked up at the trellis as they stopped, frowning in worry. "Are you sure? it looks...old and weak...it might not be able to handle your weight now.." He kept his hand in Poe's holding him in place for the moment before finally letting him go. "If you fall, I will try and catch you but there is no guarantees." He chuckled and gave Poe some room."

  


Poe looked at him and said, “Hux, I love you, so if I fall, get the Hell out of the way. I’ve been in the Air Force for years and have the body of a soldier. If I land on you, I’ll smash you flat.” He winked playfully at him and then leaped up to snag the first rung of the trellis. And then he scaled the trellis with easy grace, ass showing off well even through the snow pants he wore. “It’s actually in good shape,” he called down. “I think it’s made out of redwood, which means that the fact someone painted it is lame. Nothing beats the original color.”

He hopped nimbly on the ledge to Hux’s old window. “Just give me a minute.” With a series of little grunts, he shimmied up the windowsill and peered into the room. “Oh wow,” he murmured just to himself, as he noted how unchanged the place appeared. He pulled his head out and peered over the edge of the ledge down at Hux. “It’s a museum, Hux. Nothing looks touched since Pop managed to get me to leave that Christmas fifteen years ago. You’ve got to come see. Do you think you can make it?” He reached down to him and beckoned.

  


Hux watched Poe climb the trellis, eyes catching onto the man's rear end for a few seconds before he blushed and turned away slightly. "Remember Poe, everything in the 70s was painted." He laughed and waited patiently, though nervous about Poe falling until the man climbed into the window. "So...no one bought it then, it's just been sitting here all this time..." He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. "For someone as frugal as Brendol i'm surprised he didn't sell it. Then again, he probably didn't want a foreclosure on his record." He mumbled the last bit and moved forward to the trellis, grabbing ahold of it and putting a foot into one of the holes and began to climb.

"I can't say-" He grunted, climbing slowly. "That I'm much of an athlete or soldier.....or basically anything involving muscle." It took him a bit, some shaking climbing and grunting to pull himself over to the window until he was hanging halfway in and out as he struggled. A warm hand pulled him all the way in and he rolled to the old carpet with and oof. Dust settled around him as he pushed up and got to his feet, dusting himself off. "wow...you weren't kidding." He looked around, seeing all his old furnature covered in a solid layer of dust. "It;s like....nothing changed.." Hux's lips pulled into a bit of a frown as he looked around the room. Brendol hadn't even had anyone come in and clear out the old items from the house, old clothing still hanging in the partially open closet, the bed sheets still pulled to the side on the bed, the drawers still half open where he grabbed his study things. Hux felt a wall of emotion hit him, the night he was pulled away from this house hitting him hard. He tightened his jaw to fight the emotions welling up, his eyes getting bleary eyes.

  


Poe felt the same way, wandering around the room and wiping dust away from the open drawers. “That fucker. It’s like he did this on purpose. Just left everything like nothing that happened when you were here mattered.” He slammed one of the drawers shut and instantly regretted it when dust went everywhere. He turned his head and sneezed a couple of times in response. “Fuck, that was stupid.” He stepped back from the wafting dust and turned to Hux. “I could have killed him, for taking you away like that. I tried to ask the school if there was any information about where you’d gone, but they refused to tell me. I wasn’t family.” He made a distressed noise. “I was more family than anyone else. And you were my family, too.” He walked over to Hux and gave him a huge hug, overcome by emotion. His hands clutched the back of Hux’s winter coat, and he pressed his face into his shoulder, inhaling deeply. “So glad to have you back, Hux.”

  


Hux watched Poe walk around the room, his chest heavy with more than just the dust as he stood there. He couldn't imagine what it was like not knowing, not knowing what happened just to have someone disappear and never come back. Hux knew what happened, he had the pain of loosing it but he _knew_ what happened and....he gave in. Sure, he didn't know what Poe did after he left, but he could have reached out...somehow. The moment Poe's arms wrapped around him the damn broke, pressing his face into Poe's shoulder as his shoulders started to shake with quiet tears. He hadn't cried in a while, having pushed himself through everything without thinking for so long. He moved his arms up and wrapped them around Poe's waist, an actual sob escaping him as he held Poe tight as they stood there. Years of hurt and loneliness poured out from him, crying heavy tears as the last fifteen years of holding it all back poured out.

He hadn't cried like this since Brendol first took him back to London, having held them in with shock during their flight until he was alone once more in a room he barely remembered from childhood. He had cried himself to sleep that night before putting on a brave and emotionless face after that, lasting up until this moment. "I could have written you-..o..or something but...." He choked out, taking in shaky breaths. "I didn't because I-...I thought it..it would make it worse." He lifted one hand to wipe his eyes and nose, not wanting to get snot all over Poe's shoulder. "I...I worried he would comb my mail....Or...or hurt you or something if I did.." Hux didn't cry at Brendol's funeral. He gave a basic speech about strong business men and family ties that he knew he would be required to say as Brendol's son. He mingled among the other men who knew him and left as quickly as he could afterwards.

  


“Oh Hux, I never blamed you,” Poe said, feeling his own tears leak down his cheeks. He held him even tighter and reached up with one hand to lightly caress Hux’s right cheek and wiped away the wetness. “Your father’s the one to blame for everything. He hauled you off without a chance to say goodbye and forced you to work at a job you didn’t want. And I’m sure he threatened me and Pop, as well as you. Everything is his fault. But he’s gone now, and you don’t have to worry about any of it anymore.” He brushed his mouth over the tears, kissing them away tenderly.

“And now you’re here, in my arms, where we were fifteen years ago when your father caught us.” He wiped his own face a little with one hand, not caring a bit about the wetness. “I think I’d like to do more than start over with you, Hux. Fifteen years feels like fifteen seconds and holding you like this again…all I want to do is kiss you. May I, please?”  
He found himself rising up on his tiptoes to reach Hux’s mouth, head angled back to invite and ask for a kiss. “Please.”

  


Hux nodded, slightly with Poe's words, knowing the two of them weren't to blame for any of this and Brendol was. It was just hard not to internalize everything, him and his....preference being the reason it happened anyway. "I know...I know it's just...." He took a shaky breath, the sobs stopping but the tears flowing still. "It's hard not to think about it.." He smiled sadly, the hands on his cheeks warm as they wiped away his tears. Hux swallowed the lump in his throat, letting out a small chuckle. "A..are you sure you want to kiss this mess?" He knew it would be a yes anyway, Poe never having been one to care about things like that. He didn't give Poe a chance to beg again as he pushed forward, pressing his lips to Poe's, his eyes slipping closed as he enjoyed the embrace and the kiss.

  


Poe did indeed not care one whit for the the ‘mess’ Hux thought he was in. After all, Poe’s own face was streaked with tears, not making him the most attractive of people in the moment, either. Not that it would have mattered anyway.

  
Their lips touched only very gently at first, as Poe acclimated to being with Hux again. He moaned softly at the deliciousness of their feel against his. But that was the end for gentle. He pushed up into the connection and sealed their mouths firmly.

  
His mouth opened to invite Hux’s tongue to play, lightly flicking over his soft lips. He moaned again, enjoying the feel, as well as the taste, of his new (and old) lover. And that just enflamed him more, opening his mouth further to enjoy the sensations. Meanwhile, he began pressing more and more of himself against Hux’s lean frame, urging him backward without any real intention except to get closer.  
He needed to feel Hux.

  


Hux pressed into their kiss harder, his own mouth opening as he was invited, tongue flicking to brush across Poe's lower lip. "mmmmnn Poe.." He mumbled, his arms loosening around Poe's waist to move to the man's hips, pushing him back ever so slightly till the two of them were leaned up against the edge of the bed. He knew they wouldn't go far, but making out together was at this moment, good enough for him. He just wanted to be with Poe, touching him, holding him and being as close as they could get. His tears had finally stopped with the moment of their romance, breathing in deeply the smell of the other man.

"I missed you." He mumbled into the kiss. "As a friend.." He continued. "As more than a friend." Even though they never got to go further than their short exclamations of love that night, he had still considered them to be lovers for a long time. He had dreams of the things they would have done for years, lives they could have lived and possibilities.

Poe parted their mouths and smiled up at him, eyes hazy and warm with pleasure and memories. “You taste and feel even better than I remember, Hux. But I think we better not try anything on your old bed. We’ll drown in the dust.” He cast a speculative glance at it. “Maybe if we took off all the covers…” He snickered at himself and reached up to pull Hux down for another kiss. “You’re so damn tall,” he mumbled, on tiptoe again to fully seal their mouths. “I love it.” He sunk back into their kiss, both hands tight around Hux’s head. He sucked at and scraped his teeth over his lover’s lower lip, drawing it out.

  
“Fuck, Hux, I really want to just fall on that dusty bed and come in our pants again,” he muttered and then laughed. “It would be such a bad idea, but I want you so much.” He arched his hips into Hux, rutting against him. His hard-on pressed firmly into Hux’s groin, showing just how much his old friend still excited him. “I can’t remember the last time I was this horny.”

  


Hux moaned into the kiss, a small sound of disappointment escaping him as Poe parted from their kiss. "I was afraid I would forget this..." His voice was deeper now as he spoke, pupils blown wide in lust. He looked to the bed behind them, grimacing at the dingy color of the old blanket before going back to the kiss. "mnn yea lets wait." He chuckled and pulled Poe along with him until Hux's ass was against the desk, Poe in between his leg. "I love your height." He really did, the ability to hold Poe, who was much stronger and denser than him, in his grasp was wonderful, liking the way it felt to have Poe look at him like he did. The idea of rutting like horny teenagers again was, more than a pleasant thought, Poe's hardon grinding against his own, sending shivers down his spine as he breathed hard into the kiss. The last time they hadn't touched each other, not really. They had gotten handsy, but didn't have the time to actually do anything more.

"Who cares about bad ideas." Hux moved one of his hands down from Poe's side and tugged at the edge of the man's jeans lightly, finding the button and zipper. He didn't do anything yet however, waiting till he had the go ahead from Poe. "I....I can make it not messy.." He smiled into the kiss, offering something to Poe he had only done a handful of times. Hux had _tried_ to get into relationships, but nothing ever worked out. He had never been able to truly find a partner who satisfied him or, hell, turned him on. "I don't have a gag reflex. Lost that when they took my tonsils."

  


“Hux,” Poe whispered and nuzzled his mouth, holding him up with his strong arms. He was light, too light, and the hold did not tax Poe. “Have you done this before? I mean…the idea of you getting on you knees to suck me off is almost enough to make me cream myself, but I don’t want our first time together to be you getting a sneeze fit from kneeling in the dust.” He laughed a little and nuzzled into Hux’s neck.  
“How about we take the top covers off the bed? It might be cleaner underneath? If you really want to suck me. And then I can return the favor, if I still remember my name.” He flashed his teeth in another grin, tinged with some self-ridicule. “Seriously, I am so excited right now by this.”

  
He managed to pry himself away from Hux and seized the covers on his bed. “Cover your face and turn away a moment,” he said and then tossed the dusty linens off the far side of the bed. A billow filled the air for a second on that part of the room, but dissipated relatively quickly. “Well, not too bad,” he said and let himself fall backward on the mattress.

  


Hux smiled and and nuzzled back, chuckling at Poe's questioning. "Yes Poe, I have done this before....i mean, it's been a while but yes I have" He let Poe pull back so he could remove the bed spread, covering his mouth slightly as the dust flew up from moving it. "If you want to return the favor i'm _not_ saying no." He smiled more, leaning against the desk as he waited for the bed to be uncovered and finally the dust to settled. "Not to bad indeed" he smiled as he just stood there, admiring Poe where he laid against the bed. The thought crossed his mind that this could have been them earlier, how if Brendol wouldn't have been there to interrupt them they could have had _this_ , but he pushed the thought from his head, not wanting to loose the moment.

He pushed away from the desk and stalked over to the bed, shedding his coat and setting the bottle to the side as he climbed up and moved in between Poe's legs. He ran his hands up Poe's legs as he moved until they were at his fly, one hand fiddling slowly with it as he leaned further to press his lips to Poe's. "I'm not...great. Never have been. I tried to get into relationships but it never worked out...hell half the time I couldn't even get it up..." He chuckled sadly before smirking. "Though that doesn't seem to be a problem anymore." He pulled the zipper down and reached into Poe's pants and pulled out the already swollen cock, his face hot at the actions and the skin warm under his hand.

  


“It’s been a long time for me, too,” Poe said. “I never was the flyboy that everyone expected. Never wanted to be the life of the party or the guy who took someone to bed with him every night. It all just seemed so empty and pointless.” He kicked off his boots with a bit of flailing and pushed himself further up on the bed, just before Hux finally undid his fly. He groaned and pushed up into the warm touch on his cock. “Feels good, Hux. So good.” The other man had a smooth hand with long, slender fingers that wrapped around him fully. “I won’t last long this round. Just touch me. I don’t mind the mess.” He tugged him down for a more passionate kiss, searching for the clasps to his clothes, wanting some warm skin of his own to caress.

He finally managed to find a piece of his stomach and pressed his fingertips as far under the seam as he could manage. “Get this open,” he murmured at Hux. “Please. I need to feel you. Don’t want this to be one-sided, Hux.” His body undulated against the mattress, driven by the caressing hand and the sheer knowledge that this was Hux. And that they were repeating a scene from fifteen years earlier, one that would not be interrupted by an angry Brendol Hux.

  


"You don't need to last long, I just need to be with you." He mumbled into the kiss, his other hand moving so he could help Poe lift his shirt, deciding it was easier, regardless of the cold room they were in, to just take his shirt off. They would get warm eventually anyway. His hair mussed up from removing his shirt, having to momentarily let go of Poe before he was right back on him, his long fingers wrapped around Poe's shaft. He pulled from the kiss, pushing Poe's chest back with his other hand as he leaned down and wrapped his lips around the head of Poe's cock, not caring how quickly this ended. He didn't think Poe wanted to walk anywhere messy and it would be easy enough for him to keep the two of them clean this way.

He breathed in deep, the smell of Poe, the taste of him in his mouth and the feel of the warm skin under his hands and lips made his cock throb in his jeans, groaning at the tightness but also the fact that... _this was Poe_ , and not some random coworker he attempted at having relationships with. He pulled off looked up at Poe's face, wanting to see his expression before leaning forward, his hand still continuing to stroke as he leaned in to kiss him on the lips once more.

“Oh fuck!” Poe cried. “Fuck, Hux! Your mouth!” He grabbed instinctively for Hux’s hair and tangled his right hand in the red strands. But he just held on, not coordinated enough to do anything else, even if he wanted. His other hand began to caress the newly bared skin, reveling in the opportunity to finally get to enjoy touching him and being close in sexual intimacy. But he still wasn’t coordinated enough, what with Hux sucking him, to fully take advantage. His fingers merely skimmed over small red nipples and scraped over a sensitive nape, instead of focusing their attentions to drive Hux’s pleasure.

His own pleasure, however, kept rocketing skyward. He panted a little in relief when Hux pulled off him and moved up to kiss instead. He kept hold of the red hair to direct the kiss, even though a hand now moved to touch and distract him with waves of pleasure. “Mmm, fuck, I don’t remember you being this focused,” he moaned into Hux’s mouth. “I’m going to make that mess everywhere soon.

Hux smiled into the kiss, the hand stroking Poe slowing down enough to make sure Poe didn't come immediately, not wanting to end the fun while it lasted. Hux pushed further into the kiss, pushing Poe onto his back on the bed as he kneaded over top, hand still stroking while the other moved to hold the side of Poe's face as they kissed. "We can't be interrupted this time." He chuckled, nipping at Poe's lower lip with his teeth before kissing once more. He hoped the two of them weren't moving to fast, knowing that they hadn't seen each other in years and they never got a chance to establish their relationship prior as well. Sure, they moved quickly the night they admitted to each other their feelings, but they were also horny teenagers, now they were adults with lives.

That made a difference right? At this point it didn't matter, Hux had made up his mind as to where he wanted to be in life, and if Poe let him stay he would stay. London be damned, the rest of his family be damned, and especially Brendol and the company be damned. "Fuck I love you Poe." He mumbled, not really thinking. His cheeks went red as he realized what he said, hoping Poe either didn't hear it, or didn't mind.

Poe colored and wrapped both arms around Hux to hold him tight, uncaring about the physical pleasure for a moment. The emotional pleasure burned too bright for anything else to rival it. In his head, he knew the moment was too soon for words like that. He and Hux had been parted for too long, grown too far apart for such declarations so soon after reuniting. But his heart told him differently. He’d put himself on hold for fifteen years, awaiting this moment, knowing that nobody was as right for him as Hux. And now that he had him again, he knew he didn’t ever want to let him go. “I love you, too,” he admitted, in a loaded voice than Hux.

“I’ve loved you since we were teenagers, Hux. I don’t think I ever stopped, even though we haven’t seen each other in years. I just found another love, flying, to get me through not being able to love another person. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t been able to fly…”. He closed his eyes against the sting of new tears. “I want to be able to have both, Hux. You and flying. I want that so bad…but having you…that’s more than I ever dreamed I’d have again.” He found his mouth and sealed their lips together, the touch a bit frantic now, trying to convey everything that had been lost in all the tie they’d been apart.

Hux was pulled tightly against Poe, his hand trapped between them still holding on to the man's cock but he could no longer move it as they were pressed together now. He didn't mind though, however not having expected such a reaction, but enjoying it just the same. To anyone else it would seem they were moving too fast, having only just re-acquainted but a few days ago, but to the two of them it only felt like they were picking back up right where they left off. The two of them had been friends for years, and there was nothing going to take that away from them.

"I want that. I want that so badly." He mumbled into the kiss, his free hand pushing into Poe's curls to hold his head gently as they laid together. "I want to make up for everything we missed. I can..I can give you want you want Poe. And in turn you are already giving me what I want." Hux would support Poe however he needed, mentally, physically, financially. He didn't care how, he just wanted to be there for him and be there with him for everything. "I love you and I want to be with you through it all." His eyes welled, throat getting tight. "I don't ever want to end up hateful and mean...not like him."

“Oh, hey, hey, you could never be that,” Poe assured him, kissing at his tears and trying to take them away. “You could never be like Brendol. You never have been.” He pressed their foreheads together gently, cradling his head in strong hands. “And you never will be. No matter what you decide to do with your life.” He basked in this closeness, being able to just breathe Hux in and feel them pressed all along each other. The sexual drive still thrummed under his skin, but it was no longer an urgent need. “I want that, too, Hux. I want to be able to support you through everything. Dumping your unwanted business ties. Striking out on your own. Finding your real passion. All of it, Hux.”

  
“And I want you to be the one who’s there for me, too. I do need someone, Hux. I know that. I can’t make it on my own. Not back to where I want to be. Just someone to be there when I can’t face it alone.” He made a low, pained noise in his throat. “To listen to me when I need to talk. Or sit there with me when I need to be silent.”

  


Hux smiled, taking a deep breath as they just laid with each other, their foreheads pressed together. "I hope..I hope your right.." He let out a small laugh but leaned in and kissed Poe lightly before pulling back. "I don't care how fast it might seem, to anyone, i want this too...and..I feel like i have jumping from one wrong choice to the next but this doesn't feel wrong." He finally pulled his other hand away, their crotches pressed together but their focus elsewhere as he put his other hand into Poe's hair as well, holding Poe's face close to his own. "We didn't get this chance before and now I want it. I want all of this and I'm not going to tell myself no anymore." He closed his eyes, holding back another wave of emotion.

  


“I used the Air Force as an escape,” Poe said. “I wanted to do a good job there, and I did, but there wasn’t pride in the accomplishments beyond flying. Everything except for flying felt like filler. Thing just to pass the time.”  
He took a deep breath. “I know it’s still several days away, but I want to make my resolution now. I resolve to fight for this. For us. To give everything I have to making this work. And that includes getting back on track to helping myself. Most people don’t get this kind of second chance. But we have. And I resolve to make the most of it.”  
Having thus pledged, he seized Hux’s head in careful, but strong, hands and pulled him into a kiss that bordered on fierce. He slid his tongue back into Hux’s mouth and sought out every unexplored space, wanting to make it his own. Another promise.

  


Hux listened intently as Poe spoke, his green eyes looking back and forth from Poe's brown as he spoke more about his life prior. Hux made a mental resolution to always be there for Poe when he needed him, to always be there in the fashion that he needed, whether it would be to just listen, to give advise, or to not do anything. Hux kissed deeply, their tongues intertwining and faces smashed together desperately as they seemed to try and get as close as they possible could. When Hux had to pull away from breath and smiled, a shiver running down his spine at the chill in the room and his lack of shirt, but he didn't care. "My resolution...is to finally take the reigns of my own life.." He pressed a light kiss to Poe's lips before speaking again. "To love like I never have, and do everything i can to my _own_ standards." He kissed again, longer before pulling back once more, smiling. After a few moments however he shivered again, frowning. "sorry...it's getting cold." he laughed lightly, the fact that he was cold was very obvious by his hard nipples and gooseflesh.

  


Poe chuckled and ran his hands warmingly up and down Hux’s bare back. “Guess this wasn’t the best plan after all, huh? In an unheated building in the middle of the night in the middle of winter in the middle of Maine.” He laughed again, feeling lighter now with both of them resolved to each other and to renewing their stalled lives. “Let’s take this somewhere more appropriate? But first, let’s climb to the roof and look out over the town a minute…like we used to do when your dad wasn’t here and your stepmom was downstairs ignoring us.”

He eased himself out from under Hux with a last kiss and reached for his shirt. “Let me help you put this shirt back on.” He held it up for his lover, after shaking off some dust with a guilty smile. But even as he did, he admired the view, especially the pebbled nipples. And it was hard not to reach out and tweak one. “And once we get back to my apartment, we can start all over again. Maybe do something even more advanced than we were.” He did pinch Hux’s left nipple now, teasing the tip.

  


Hux shivered under Poe's touch for both the warmth of his hand and the chill of the air but chuckled lightly, nodding. "Y-yea..uh...lets get dressed and utilize the bottle i brought." He sat back and let Poe sit up, his eyes trailing down one last time to get a better look at the moonlit view of Poe's crotch that he had his hands and mouth all over not but a few moments ago. He took the shirt and smiled, lifting it over his head just as Poe reached out to pinch his nipple lightly and squealed, not having expected that.

He laughed however, quickly putting his shirt on over his head and pulling it down over his chest with a pout on his lips, cheeks red as they could be. "Hey, no fair I didn't see that coming." He smiled though. Hux liked that idea, going back to Poe's home and continuing where they left off, though he didn't know how successful they would be with that with it already being as late as it was. "Come on" He pushed off the bed and grabbed his jacket and slipping it on, feeling for the bottle and making his way over to the window where they entered.

  


Poe smiled warmly at the squeal, loving the sound as it emerged from Hux’s mouth. He found it endearing and amusing both. “I’ll kiss it better later,” he promised, “but for now…” He leaned in and kissed Hux’s cheek, before zipping up his pants. “Give me a moment,” he said, putting back on his boots as quickly as possible. “One thing about warmer places, you don’t always have to wrestle on and off so many layers. Though we can do a striptease later.” He winked at Hux playfully as he stood to join him at the window.

  
“Think you can make it the rest of the way to the roof?” Poe asked and peered out of the window. “It will be fun to see the whole town though.” He gave Hux another kiss on the cheek and clambered out again on to the ledge, nimble as a cat.

  


Hux blushed at the idea of a strip tease but only smirked, watching Poe shimmy his way back through the window. "I'll make it just fine." He assured him and leaned out to make sure Poe made it first before he started to climb as well. It took him a few moments to get up, but finally he huffed and pulled himself up and over the edge, sitting down heavily next to Poe on the cold roof. Their breath was visible in the air, the crisp night chilling everything but there was no wind to cut through them or make it miserable. The moon was out as well, almost a full moon and making the snow practically glow around them the spanned on for the entirety of the properties land and the backyards of the neighbors, giving them a wonderful view of the neighborhood where it stopped and the rest of the town.

"It looks both different and the same." He said quietly, pushing himself up close against Poe's side and reached in his jacket to grab the small bottle. "Everything changes but always stays the same." He popped the top and took a swig of the rum he had gotten, holding it out to Poe at his side. Hux had never been a drinker, Brendol never drinking as he thought it was for lowlives other than a glass of wine with dinner, but Hux did like to drink every now and then.

  


Poe took the bottle and joined in a healthy swig, eyes closed briefly at the heat racing down into his gut. He let out a bit of a laugh and said, “Whew, been awhile since I’ve had anything that strong.” He took another mouthful, though, before handing it back to Hux. “That’s appropriate, isn’t it? Things that change, but stay the same. Like us. We’ve both changed a lot, but the important stuff…that’s stayed the same.” He dropped his head to rest on Hux’s nearest shoulder, content to just settle close to him for the moment. “And this is also a good time to let go of some of our past. The stuff that’s held us back. We’re back together now. We can let go of this place, too. You can sell it. What do you say?” He lifted his head to press a warm kiss to Hux’s right cheek. “My Hux.”

  


Hux took the bottle back from Poe as the other man settled close to him, taking another swig before letting it rest on his lap. "Yea i don't really drink too often." He chuckled. "I think....Selling it would be good. Maratelle shouldn't have her name on the title as Brendol made sure she didn't have her hand in anything he owned, and.....I don't need it. Or want it for that matter." His cheeks flushed at the kiss, smiling lightly. "I'm...glad that you still want me." He turned, catching Poe's lips to return the kiss. "After I come back. After I go back to get my things....I'll put this place up for sale, whatever the average cost is so it gets snagged quick. Then...." He bit his lips a bit. "Let's move out to California like we planned...Wherever you want to go. I can work from anywhere in the world it doesn't matter. Pick a place."

  


Poe put a hand on Hux’s chest and kissed his lips softly, but deftly, working them over his lover’s. “I’m sure she’ll be after anything you make. She wasn’t as out and out nasty as your father, but she was always a grasping, greedy bitch. With apologies to dogs.” He kissed him again, equally softly, before setting his head back on a narrow shoulder. After a few moments, he spoke again, “I’ll need to find a counselor…someone I trust. But California…there’ll be plenty. I’d like that, Hux. I don’t know that I want to live in a big city, though. I’d like a quiet place, I think. Would you mind if we had like an acre or two? Where we could have dogs and a garden? Somewhere Pop could join us someday?” He blew out a long breath and said, “I’m taking a bit of a liberty. I’m sorry.”

  


Hux chuckled at the joke about his step mother, nodding slightly. "It wont be hard to appease her or tell her off. She probably wont even notice." He took a sip of the bottle before looking over, admiring the look of Poe's face in the moonight as he spoke. "What? Why are you sorry?" He sat up a bit more, wrapping his arm around Poe and pulled him close. "I can do that. I would love to have that with you. I'm tired of the city, I want to be somewhere that makes the both of us happy, and I would _never_ want for Kes to feel like he can't join us or come when he wants." He smiled and kissed Poe's cheeks. "Remember when I asked you if Kes was coming with us to California before when we were planning on going to college?" He chuckled. "I would honestly be sad if he didn't eventually join us." He took a deep breath and rested his head on Poe's head. "I have the money to take care of you...if you let me....I just don't want you to have to struggle, ever."

  


Poe bit his lower lip, which he felt wobble traitorously at Hux’s declaration. “I shouldn’t need to be taken care of,” he murmured. “I was in the Air Force. A pilot. Fuck. I used to be so put together, some of the others said I squeaked. I always just thought they were jealous. But I’m a fucking mess now, Hux. You shouldn’t hitch yourself to me before you know it all.” He breathed out once in pain. “I shouldn’t do that to you, Hux.” He snuggled closer and held on tighter. “I lost my squad,” he said softly. “Wasn’t even in combat. A fucking training accident.” His voice strangled a little, before he huffed out another breath. “Let me have another swig? A bit of liquid courage to see me through the explanation.”

  


Hux felt his heart drop, feeling the light tremor in the other man's body and the sound in his voice. Shit, that had been the wrong thing to say. He handed Poe the bottle, holding Poe tightly. "Poe...I'm not saying this because you _can't_ take care of yourself..." His voice went soft, tears welling in his own eyes as he felt a horrible sadness wash over him at the small bit he had already heard. "I'm just saying...You don't have to do it alone.." He smiled sadly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but if you do, I'll listen. I don't need an explanation, your experiences are your own and that's explanation enough...but I'm listening if you do tell me." His heart felt heavy, realizing that if he would have never been taken, his friend and lover might have never gone through what he did. There was no changing at that now though.

Poe made another rough noise and turned to kiss Hux an intense thank you, but then shook his head. “No, you need to know, before you truly do entangle your life with mine. I never should have gotten us involved before you knew the whole story.” He blew out another harsh breath and sat up, though made sure his body still brushed Hux’s side. “I had a good career in the Force. I mean, I wasn’t wedded to it, like some people, but I loved flying. And I was excellent at it. Maybe because I felt at home in the sky, away from everyone and reliant only on myself.” He dipped his head to look at his feet, before raising his eyes to the sky again. “Took me years to become a pilot, but I loved it. And I ran all kinds of missions without a hitch. The expected hit now and then, but nothing serious. But about a year before I was discharged…there was a smash-up. My squad was running training exercises. Most of us were senior pilots, but there were three fairly new.

The exercises weren’t even that hard, really. Nothing I felt we were unprepared for. I was in the lead, and we were going into the end of the maneuvers, when Henderson…he dipped suddenly and clipped Alioto. She tried to compensate, but it took her right into Hernandez.” He let out a gulp of pain. “And then they all went, one right into the other. I could hear them, Hux. Hear them yelling and trying to get their ships back under control. I was trying to help them, but…there was nothing I could do. Except watch them all smash up. They didn’t even have time to eject. We were too close to the ground by that point. And the collisions were too devastating.” “I was cleared of anything, of course, but I’ve never been able to fly again. Nightmares. Guilt. I tried the counseling in the Service, but I wasn’t getting anywhere. And I didn’t want to fly a desk. So, I left the Force and came back home.” He breathed out another sob.

Hux loosened his grip when Poe sat up, resting his hand gently on Poe's leg so the other man knew he still was there to comfort him. He didn't say it, but it didn't matter how messed up Poe's life had been over the last fifteen years, he wouldn't be changing his decision to stay with him. He listened, his lips pulled into a tight frown as he kept his eyes down on his lap, listening intently to the recount of what seemed to be a very, very painful moment in his friends life. He had no idea what it must felt like for Poe, to have lost so many of his friends and have been able to do nothing about it. His hand squeezed Poe's leg a bit, thumb rubbing lightly as he listened and tears welled over and slipped down his face, unable to hold them back. When Poe was done, he looked over at him and smiled sadly.

"I'll just say this to get it out of the way, but nothing would make me change my mind about staying with you." He reached up and put his hand to cradle Poe's cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that Poe...I can't take that hurt away but I will do my fucking best to be there for you in the way you need it. All you need to do is tell me what way that is and I'll do it." He turned more, pulling his own legs under him as he faced Poe, his hand still on the other man's cheek. "You offered everything you had that night to me, and I would do no less than the same Poe...I want to give you the opportunity to help yourself like I neglected too that night.." He kept his eyes on Poe's, his sad smile still there as he waited for Poe's reply.

Poe turned into Hux and buried himself in his arms, allowing himself a cry. He’d never much prescribed to the macho aura most pilots adopted, though he’d kept his emotions to himself for the most part when he was one. Hence, the Ice Fox nickname. But with those he trusted, cared about, he never hid anything.

  
And that was who he was with, someone he trusted very dearly indeed.

  
With his face buried in Hux’s chest, he let himself feel that day all over again, along with all of the failures that followed thereafter. His losing his right to fly. His attempts to seek counseling that led him nowhere. His leaving the Force and having to return home to his father to lick his wounds. How he still wasn’t coping, not really.

  
Now, his lost dream had returned and presented him with a second chance. Hux, as warm and loving as he remembered. Holding him tight and promising him whatever he needed to get through. “I don’t want to be a burden to you, Hux,” he said, lifting his head to look into his lovely green eyes. “Something you regret.”

Hux held Poe tightly in his arms when he turned in him, his own silent tears flowing as he realized just how deeply his friend and lover hurt. It didn't seem like Poe had healed very far after this event, the last few years of the man living in limbo just that, limbo, with no true healing or helping. He didn't want Poe to fall backwards, or never get the help he needed. Hux had no issues, no thoughts of turning back or doubt in his mind that he didn't want to continue this with Poe, the man's pain only hardening his resolve further. "Hey." He pulled back, moving his hands to cup both of Poe's cheeks, his face getting intense at Poe's words.

"No...You will _never_ be something I regret..." His green eyes flicked back and forth between Poe's dark ones. "You couldn't possibly be a burden, no matter how much you try you could never be a burden...and the only thing i will ever regret in my life is not taking your hand when you offered it to me as kids..." His expression went softer, eyes closing as he pressed their foreheads together. "That is my only regret and I refuse to have anymore."

Poe’s laughed in a watery fashion and said, “Okay. Okay. I want you, too, Hux. I saw you, and I felt alive. More alive than I have since the last time I flew a successful mission. I want to get my wings again. Live again.”  
He reached up to wipe away Hux’s tears. “Fine mess I’m making out of this. We’re going to both freeze to death because we’re blubbering so much. Making icicles on our cheeks. I didn’t mean to turn this into something somber, Hux. But I don’t want to go into this with any secrets. I’ve never had a significant other, not in all my time in the Force. There’s only always been you, Hux. Just you.”

  
He sipped more of the bottle and breathed out once. “Thank you, Hux, for letting me get that off my chest. For listening to me. I wish I wasn’t such a mess. I’d like to be the strong boy you used to know. But maybe this is a chance for me to learn how to let someone else take care of me. If you really are willing. I’d like to see if we can take care of each other.”

  


Hux finally smiled when Poe did, feeling at least somewhat better now that the other man seemed to release some of the pent up stress he had been holding. "Your not making a mess Poe." He sat back, wiping his hands off on his pants. "I...I have had people in my life a few times but...never have I had a significant other either, I always felt like I had met my person and there was no one who I would ever meet again who could replace you." He watched Poe drink more and sighed.

"Poe...you seem stronger to me now than ever..." He reached out and took the bottle, taking another swig himself and polished off the bottle, setting it aside. "To have gotten through all that, and still made it out the other side as intact as you are?...that's strength." He smiled and put a hand on Poe's shoulder, leaning in to kiss him. "I am willing, and ready."

Poe took a long moment to study Hux’s face and absorb the words, trying to see if he really meant them. Finally, he smiled through the tears and said, “You are. You really are.” And then he leaned in to kiss Hux, moving to straddle his lap, unafraid of their current circumstances, perched on the roof. He loved the added thrill, combined with the soaring of his heart as Hux accepted him as he was, with his fractures. “Shall we go back to my place?” he asked the other man, when he finally pulled away from Hux’s sweet lips. “It is cold out here, and I’d love an excuse to cuddle up with you in the sofa. Maybe strip off all our clothes and go at it like the pair of horny teenagers we only got to be once? Right now, I feel like I’m flying again.”

  


Hux made a sort startled sort of noise when Poe straddled him, putting one hand to the side to make sure they didn't tumble and fall. "Woah. yea let's go back to your place." He smiled, already feeling warm from the alcohol they had shared. "I'm scared we are going to fall." He chuckled. "We can do whatever it is we want when we get back." He leaned up and kissed at Poe's lips. "Why? Because no one will be there to interrupt." He smiled at that.

  


“Except ourselves,” Poe said, “but I’ll try not to be a cockblock this time to either of us.” He kissed Hux again, unafraid of the drop, trusting his balance and their luck in the moment. “Promise.” He swung himself nimbly off Hux’s lap and scrambled for the trellis. As he descended a couple of rungs, he paused with just his head point up above the ledge where they’d been sitting. “I don’t know where I would have gone next if you hadn’t shown up, Hux. You really are a Christmas miracle in a lot of ways, you know. I have a direction now. And another reason for that direction. Renewed purpose to face my problems and find my way back to being able to function as the pilot I want to be.” He blew him a kiss and continued a little way down. “I’m stopping here until you get securely on the trellis,” he called back up.

  


Hux chuckled against the kiss before watching Poe get up and move towards the edge, not bothering to grab the bottle off the roof as well...the new owner would one day redo the roof and find it anyway. "Please be careful." He watched with a frown as Poe fenagled his way over the edge before stopping. "If you hadn't walked up to me when you did Poe....I would have gone right back to London and lived on the way I had..." He smiled. "Thank _you_ for giving me the courage to change it all. He smiled when Poe continued down and moved to join him, looking over the edge with a bit of a grimace at the height before turning and getting a footing and beginning to make his way down.

Poe made sure Hux made each rung on the way down until they nearly reached the bottom, where he made a neat leap off, over the remaining hedge to the snow below. He waited for Hux, before taking his right hand in his left and leading back toward the fence again.

  
“I meant what I said about going to London with you,” Poe said. “May I? I’d like to see the places you enjoyed about London. And maybe it’ll make it easer for you to pack it all up and come back to the US. With me.” He leaned into the taller man, enjoying the closeness.

Hux made it down without fail, though his legs and arms were already a bit shaky from both the climb up and down with how little physical exercise he got. He jumped down into the snow next to Poe and took up his hand, walking along with him. "You can come. I don't mind that at all, I can just as easily get you a ticket." He smiled contently as Poe leaned against him as they walked, making their way to the edge of the property where they followed their trail back to the main part of the neighborhood. "Like I said, there isn't much _too_ grab from my place, but your help is appreciated non the less. Though...there are few places about London I really cared for." He stuffed his other hand in his pocket as they walked. "How about you tell me some places you would want to see? We can go outside of London too."

  


“Well, we’re going to have to do some of the most famous stuff. Even if it is lame and touristy,” Poe said. “But I’d like to see the more personal places you enjoy. Things that have a meaning for you.”  
He leaned his head into Hux’s shoulder a moment. “I traveled a lot in the Force, but mostly was on bases. There’s almost nowhere special I can show you that you haven’t already seen before. So, this will be a chance to show me stuff and kind of close the door on your time with the company. We can make our own memories together after that, wherever we go.” They walked through the streets of their childhood; Poe feeling content in Hux’s company, feeling smoother on his feet and with himself after his breakdown. “Is there anywhere you want to go someday?”

  


"Sometimes touristy is fun too." He chuckled. "But yea, we can do that if you want. There is a cafe I frequented, uhm....a book store I will miss, and I guess a few other places but nothing really exciting." Hux listened, the two of their steps echoing lightly through the streets as they walked, their voices doing the same only slightly in the dark chill night. They weren't loud enough to be disturbing anyone, and the crunch of their feet along the snow on the sidewalk was probably louder than them anyway.

"Well, if you would like we can go to the places you went. Actually do some traveling where you didn't get the chance." He looked up at the sky, watching the stars pass as they walked. "I think though....for me I want to visit Ireland with you. I have been there a few times in my youth but we never went once I got older. Brendol despised his mothers side of the family who still lives there. According to Maratelle my mother was from there too but I'm not entirely sure how to find her family as I don't even know her name." He frowned at that, but took a deep breath.

  


Poe frowned at the idea that Hux didn’t have any idea who his mother was, not to mention her family. He rose to his tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “In your father’s papers, there has to be something about her. He couldn’t just take you away without some kind of legal proceedings. There must be a record, even if he didn’t keep them himself. You have a right to know your family.” He tugged his lover even closer and said, “I can help you with that. My last year int he Force, when I was parked at a desk, I learned all about the joys of bureaucracy and paperwork. I’m not a lawyer, but I can help you find the information you’re seeking. And I’d love to meet the rest of your family, too. A side hopefully worth meeting. And I’ve never been to Ireland.”

  


Hux sighed, nodding lightly. "I hope. Brendol's family has had money for....decades, and some things just work a bit differently in Europe. But yea, there would have to be some record right?" He smiled and leaned into the kiss. "I...appreciate you want to help. Maybe once we get settled in more we can look into it." He saw his car up at the end of the block where the neighborhood ended. "I can only hope they are, maybe they would be....more caring than the current one." He chuckled at that, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys and unlock the car. He let go of Poe's hand only because they finally got there and smiled over the top of the car at him. "You know...we are pretty lucky...most people don't get second chances like this..."

Poe climbed into the car and smiled over at Hux. “I’m not taking it for granted, Hux. I know how rare second chances are. Maybe that’s part of why I seized the chance again, as soon as I saw you. And I wouldn’t worry about the other side of your family being caring. After all, you had to get your heart from somewhere. And it sure wasn’t from Brendol.”

  
“Let’s go home. I’ll show you how much I can be caring.” He lowered his eyes to gaze at Hux with warm invitation. “I promised you some naked making out, and I mean to make good on my promise. Very good.” He bit his lower lip and dragged his teeth over it suggestively.

  


Hux smiled as he started the car, glancing over at the suggestive look at Poe was giving him and his cheeks lit up pink as his smile grew. "I'll hold you to that." With that, he took off down the road back in the direction of Poe's apartment, more than ready to end the night on a good, fun note.


End file.
